Saturday, December 31, 2005
Things that have happened over the holidays:
I got sick - nothing tangible, but when Alfie and I went to see the Polar Express on the 22nd, I started feeling quite grim, and this lasted through the 23rd, with Nicola and james' visit, and I felt terrible on that night, barely sleeping, and all the next morning. I was very worried, thinking that I would be ill for Christmas, but suddenly at about 1pm, I perked up, and felt well enough to go for our Christmas Eve afternoon and evening with Gail and Bob, and was indeed fine for Christmas, although much paracetamol and nurofen were taken.
I had a lovely Christmas. Mike surpassed himself in the present giving front, with 2 sets of La Senza underwear, jewellrey from Pumpkin, a HUGE bottle of Aromatics Elyxir and CDs. Alfie had a lovely time, and really loved his presents. He has been a complete star over the holidays, not bratty or spoiled like you dread kids being. Just gorgeous.
We went to Exeter to spend three days with Sarah, Chris and Leo, who moved there in the summer, and had a wonderful time. We're going there for our summer holidays with a carrier bag full of used £10 notes in lieu of formal holiday payment, to spend on entertainment.
We went to the Pantomime on Boxing Day which was great, and the aforementioned Polar Express at the IMAX so felt very festive
We moved our bedroom back round after agreeing that neither of us has slept well since we moved it a different way. We have only spent two nights there since the re=move, but speaking for myself, I have slept SO much better. There must be something in this Feng Shui business.
I have eaten and drunk for the UK and also another small country (maybe Lithuania) and have likely put the whole pre-Christmas 10lb loss back on. However, I am placating myself with the thought that if I hadn't lost it then I would have 20lb to lose in January, so, it's not all bad
Been sale shopping with my sister and Sarah, and got some super bargains
Not done ANY work - have made a list for the next three days of things to do, so hopefully will get on top of stuff. Nothing like leaving it to the last minute
Have made a resolution not to drink any alcohol for the whole month of January - my liver needs a rest and also this will help with the Christmas weight gain. Also need to show myself that I am not in fact an alcoholic
Have also added to the list of resolutions posted previously that I need to regain my positive attitude to work that had waned somewhat towards the end of last term. Ride the Storm, Zoe.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
I love this time of year. it's not just the whole Christmas thing, which I do love and am looking forwards to, but the whole excitement of a new, fresh year, and the plans that you can make and the ideas that you can bring ot fruition. I know that a lot of media poo-poos the idea of an arbitrary date to focus on, but I have always found it helpful. I have plans for next year (more on that in a minute) so, i thought I'd look up last year's plans and see how they have gone:
1. Start (and maintain) a blog - I have always loved diaries but never find the time to write them - I am online everyday on my laptop however, so I am thinking that that would be easier. -well, i'm still here - maybe not every day, but I feel I've catalogued my life fairly well, so I'd say that that is fairly well maintained
2. Lose another stone and a half (21lbs if you are overseas) - so far I have lost 65 lbs (45 lbs with Weightwatchers, although I am doing it alone, i.e., not going to class or paying on line which makes me happy as I am not paying some great big money making corporation for the priviledge) - well, no. BUT, I have maintained the weight loss for one year, and that can be harder I understand.
3. Iron out some of the problems in my marriage, of which more at another time - on the whole it's a great marriage, but there are some sticky parts. - things are pretty good between Mike and I. We have a regular babysitter and we spend time together chatting and stuff. Our domestic life is fairly evenly distributed and we love each other lots, tell each other all the time, still snog, and we have had some sex this year. So, I would say, achieved.
4. Go back to the gym two/three times a week - I was doing well, but it had waned to once a week at the end of 2004. Not at all. In fact, we are cancelling the membership. I hate it and would rather walk/ use stairs instead of lifts, and join a tap dancing class for 2006
5. To be the best teacher I can be - that's my job, I am new to the career, having moved from Healthcare in 2002. - Independent feedback seems to verify this
In addition to the above I have the ongoing being a good mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend; trying to see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil especially at work, and to be as good a person as I can - they are not resolutions, but things I am trying to do all the time. It amazes me how much I am learning about all these things all the time.
So, not a bad result overall. I have some thoughts on some aims for 2006;
1. It's the 21lbs again. i would dearly like that to come off and then I'd be fairly happy with the overall loss. I have made some good inroads over the last few weeks, so at least I am in the mindset again, hopfully Christmas will not be my undoing!
2. To spend less time on the Internet. Less useful time that is. I find myself aimlessly wandering around, literally surfing, and it's time I could be spending reading, cleaning, ironing, interacting with people - so, I am restricting myself to half an hour each day
3. To regenerate my social life - it has been work and bed Monday - Thursday and that needs to stop.
4. To improve my temper -I have been a bit short with the two people I love most recently: Alfie and Mike, and I think it needs to stop.
5. To be more organised in the home and workplace
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Four jobs you have had in your life: Teacher, GP Practice Director, Nursing Auxiliary, waitress
Four movies you could watch over and over: Not a huge fan of movies, as in, I like them, but I'm not a real buff. So, American Beauty, Some Like It Hot, It's a Wonderful Life, Love Actually
Four places you've lived: Southport, Salford, Knutsford, Sale. All in the UK. Mostly beginning with S.
Four TV shows you love to watch: Lost, Sex and the City, Friends, Little Britain
Four places you've been on vacation: Cairo, Egypt; Florence, Italy; Florida, USA; Centreparcs
Four websites you visit daily: Weightwatchers, Stonecutters, PoppyMom, It's all smoke and mirrors
Four of your favorite foods: Chinese, cheese, ice cream, pizza
Four places you'd rather be right now: to tell the truth I'm quite happy on my sofa at the moment, but - in a swanky hotel somewhere that has a huge bath and all mod cons; my Mum's; talking to someone I need some closure with; collecting my lottery winning cheque
Four bloggers you are tagging: I don't have anyone to tag. :(
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Read a whole magazine about body image last night, the Easy Living magazine January issue. i like Easy Living, it has a lot of sensible things to say and is not too obsessed with beauty/fashion - it's quite intelligent. Anyhoo, I was reading these worthy articles about women obsessed with thier bodies and having poor body image, and (in a Road to Damascus kind of way) I realised that I don't actually have a poor body image any more, I am quite happy in my skin. It was a bit of a shock really, like having a comfort blanket taken away, because it's been with me all my life. But it's slipped away gently over a long period of time, so I haven't really noticed it's absence.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Something bizarre happened today though. Had my normal working breakfast - two slices of granary toast with marmite - and lunch - 0pt soup (broccoli and butternut squash - yum), a wholemeal pitta, two satsumas and a packet of potatohead crisps, and also indulged in 2 jaffa cakes. 9 points altogether. Fine. Took A to McD's for his tea - in my defence, I have nothing in for tea as Tesco.com are delivering later, and he did have made-from-scratch prawn and cheese taglietelle for dinner last night - and had a coffee. When M got home I went and did some Christmas shopping. Got home at 8pm and M made dinner - fresh tuna steak, baked potato and green beans - 4.5 points.
I have left some tuna and some potato.
Now you need to know that this is an unknown phenomenon for me. I do not leave food. Ever. unless it is disgusting. It does not fit into my psyche.
But I am full. full up to the brim. I swear, I am NEVER full. This is verra verra wierd.
So now I am a ton of points under for the day, like about 8. Bizarre.
Monday, December 05, 2005
Last night, I wrote Alfie a letter back from Father Christmas, and left it by the fireplace with "elf glitter" for him to find this morning. Lord, there is nothing better than your child wide eyed and open mouthed listening to you read him Father Christmas' response ("he knows my name!")
God help me, my life is so fricken busy and full of cr*p at work at the moment that I need moments like that!
Saturday, December 03, 2005
I went into Manchester this morning, and got nearly all the Christmas shopping done, i actually enjoyed it because I was organised and focussed. Came home and had a lovely afternoon making maize aliens with Alfie and then - writing his Santa letter in front of the fire with Christmas tunes on the CD. It doesn't get much better than that. His letter is so sweet, and he wrote it so beautifully ( I helped him with which letters to write, but he did every one himself, and some phonetic spelling)
Mike and i had our wedding photos out last night. It was nice. i tried to book our party for our tenth anniversary this afternoon, but they aren't taking bookings in the Rain Bar until the end of the month, so I don't feel so disorganised about it. I can plan the party in six weeks, I'm sure.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Have you been naughty or nice this year? Pretty nice. I don't have the time or the enerfy for the naughtiness!!
Real tree or imitation tree? I HATE fake trees. It HAS to be a real pine tree, and I don't care about the needles.
Favorite Christmas cartoon character?
Did you ever write Santa a letter? yes - and looking forward to writing one with Alfie this year!
Buy any Christmas presents online? Some. Time is so short and I hate the commerciality of the whole pushing and shoving and mindless buying. I am going to the City Centre on Saturday - for 8.30am and hoping to be home for noon...
Save the ribbon and paper or rip right through it? Bit of both. I like to recycle the paper though, I'm turning into a bit of an eco-warrior
Sharing Christmas with family this year? Christmas Eve just the three of us, and Christmas morning. Then we're off to my Mum's for the afternoon and for a couple of days. IMHO it's a family time, having tries a couple a deux, and felt that something has been distinctly missing.
Ever ride in a one horse open sleigh? No. Or a two horse one
Ever roast a chestnut on an open fire? No, but I like the idea of it
Favorite Christmas pie? And I have EVER eaten a pie at Christmas.... hang on though, mince pies!
Favorite Christmas movie? It's a Wonderful Life. Love Actually. Merry Christmas Charlie Brown.
Favorite Christmas song? Fairy Tale of New York - Kirsty McColl and the Pogues. Christmas Wrapping - the Waitresses. A Spaceman came Travelling - Chris de Burgh.
People on your Christmas list; more or less than ten?Many more. I am from a divorced family, there's steps and halfs all over the place. Not to mention my four god-children
Will you have a white Christmas this year? You know, we got one last year and it was the most amazing thing! I can't believe that we'll be that lucky again, but rushing out in the snow with Alfie was one of my top memories of last year.
Do you believe in Santa Claus? of course!
Who would you like to kiss under the mistletoe? Oh, go on then, I'll say my husband ;)
Who gives the best gifts? I always like my gifts, especially a surprise, Mike did surpass himself last year with diamonds and silk pyjamas
Do you send Christmas cards? yup, and putting off writing them
What color best represents Christmas? silver and gold is the colour scheme of my tree
Do you own any Christmas music? Yup, holy ones and Christmas hits
How many Christmas parties will you attend this year? My works lunch, the kids party and I think that that might be it
Does the postal worker get a gift this year? Good god no
Giving a present to a pet? no, what on earth for?
Your shopping: All done, half-way done, just started, not yet started? about half I think
Friday, November 11, 2005
I've had a very nice day. My favourite thing that I got was a handwritten card from Alfie who is going from strength to strength with his reading and writing - to see your son's own handwriting with "Mummy" and "love Alfie" was pretty great this am.
So far I have received:
- a diamond watch
- A Robbie Williams CD
- A Kate Bush CD
- A Kirsty McColl CD - we had a good old dance to my theme tune - "In these Shoes" ("In these shoes - I don't think so.... ") tonight
- An Angel of Learning
- a substantial amount of cash from my Dad
and also loads of chocolates, flowers and wine from the children in my class which is unusual, I didn't get stuff last year.
Mike, Alfie and I went out for dinner to our favourite local restaurant tonight, and then tomorrow we are going out with our good friends Steve and Sarah. I had lots of nice cards and texts from people too, including a card from my beautiful niece, my first "to my auntie" card
Thirty-bloody-four though. I feel like I am very old..
Sunday, November 06, 2005
The mattress is REALLY comfy. I still didn't have a great night's sleep as I am a bit restless at the moment, and I think I need to get used to the comfort - my body is in a Povlov's dog place of waking and rearranging automatically even though it doesn't need to.
I'm quite pleased with how proactive we have been about sorting stuff out that needs to be done lately - new winter bedding, new music system for our bedroom, new mattress - I've even had some dry cleaning and shoe heeling done!
We just had some hot dogs and sparklers outside for bonfire night last night - one thing I hadn't been proactive about was deciding on a display to attend, so we looked at everyone else's instead. We had a really nice time, Alfie enjoyed it, and it was a quick and yummy tea! Next year I might organise a party at our house.
Mike and I spent last night watching music channels as well as X Factor and Strictly Come Dancing, we had a real giggle watching old music videos! I enjoy evenings like that. he showed me some photos he has been taking over the last six weeks I haven't seen yet, I've asked him to update Alfie's webpage as it hasn't been done for a while.
It's my birthday this week (34 - who knew I could be this old!) and I still feel about 17 most of the time. My mum was on her own with three children at my age, and just starting teaching again after years as a SAHM. I can't imagine what that must have been like for her, she's pretty strong. I don't really give her the credit as much as I should for how she coped with all of that.
I love birthdays, and I'm hoping for a good one this week. Apart from that it should be a reasonably nice week anyway - my class is having an assembly on Tuesday which is going ok, and I'm out for dinner with a friend I haven't seen for a while on Wednesday. hopefully we are taking Alfie to see the Christmas lights being switched on on Thursday and then out for a Chinese on Friday (my actual birthday) and then for a meal with friends on the Saturday. So should be a nice week (I hope so!)
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
I think partly this is because a) I am out of the loop of being 100% mummy and b) I am tired and have had four years without a regular lie in.
I love being with Alfie - he's my greatest pleasure and the thing I'm most proud of and love in my life. Everything is harder with him - there are lots of inevitable but necessary things to do during this break - buy new duvets, birthday presents, car tax, banking etc etc, all of which are made more difficult with a four year old in tow. I don't want life without him, but i could do with my mother living around the corner sometimes - just so i could run my errands. It gets a lot harder, dear readers with toddlers, when they are out of the pram. Although a lot more rewarding in terms of interactive relationships.
It's partly my fault because I tried to fit in some clothes shopping today, as I have hardly any Winter clothes and it's getting cooler. I also have some cash burning a hole in my Ladies Nice Things Account (ebay money and birthday/Christmas money) as well as a gift card for the Trafford Centre. Anyhow, a great big thanks to the saleslady in Dorothy Perkins, who presented my child with a packet of chocolate covered raisins so that "Mummy can try on her clothes in peace" - I am so shopping there forever!! Got a black v-necked sweater and a baby pink wrapover cardigan there - so, so soft, and a black top with mock collar and cuffs in white, similar to something I bought and LOVED in the states ten years ago, and a nice necklace. I took Alfie to Est Est Est for lunch (him pizza, me goats cheese foccacia) and the to the cinema to see the Wallace and Gromit film, which was good fun apart from Alfie being a bit scared and me eating too many fruit pastilles, to the point I gave them to him and said "keep these away from Mummy" like he was an adult or something.
Managed a quick trip to Next to buy a brown top also.
I really feel I have let myself go a bit lately, so i'm really making an effort to get back on the weight loss waggon (weight loss so far this year: none) and start to look after my skin and body a bit more. Apart from fruit pastilles of course.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
What color is most reflective of you?
I think I'm a bit of a chocolate brown - classy and deep and noticeable whilst not too in your face
How did you get the idea for your journal/blog name?
It's something I say quite a lot when I'm trying to make a point
What time were you born?
9.45 am after a 36 hour labour, with forceps, two weeks late. Perhaps I didn't want to be here...
What song are you playing now (or wish you were playing)?
I have the tv on at the moment. I can listen to Unfinished Sympathy forever though
Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry?
I cried watching Princess Diana's funeral. It was he posy from Harry with "Mummy" on the top.
What color underwear (or underoos, as I prefer) are you wearing?
Black. They match my bra. I always wear matching colours
Do you want a baby?
Sometimes, although I have already given birth to the world's finest child.
What does your dad do for a living?
Something in IT. Like my husband
What does your mom do for a living?She's a teacher. Like me
What is your pet's name?Jess and Charlie
What color are your bedsheets?Yellow and white gingham check at the moment
What are the last 3 digits of your phone number?460
What was the last concert you attended?U2. how cool am I?
Who was with you?Gail.
What was the last movie you saw? I saw Clifford the Big Red Dog the movie. Yikes
Who do you dislike most at this moment?A work colleague who will remain nameless.
Did you dream last night? I had a dreadful dream where I had been asked to read at my former Headteacher's leaving mass and the child who was reading before me read my reading and I had nothing to read. Doesn't sound that bad written down, but it wasn't nice.
What was the last TV show you watched?I have Coronation Street on in the background
What is your fave piece of jewelery?I like my diamonds, but I think it's my engagement ring. or my wedding amber.
What is to the left of you? The work I should be doing when I'm actually doing this
What is the last thing you ate? Some fruit gums
Write a song lyric that's in your head:None
."Who last IMed you?Haven't IM'd for ages. Stonecutter Sweater Muffins, I miss those days!
Where is your significant other right now?Cooking dinner in the kitchen.
Not a current one, but that's unusual.
What shampoo do you use?John Frieda Brilliant Brunette.
When was the last time you cut your hair?July.
What shirt are you wearing?A black v-necked top.
What is your favorite frozen treat?Ice cream.
Are you sexy?I think I can be.
What's your favorite shopping store?I do like Tesco.
Can you imagine yourself ever getting married? Ten years and counting baby!
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Just not been around for a while as the start of the new term ahs been extraordinarily busy - Alfie started school, and seems to be settling well, I can't get over seeing him around the school, he looks so lovely in his school uniform! New head and tons of work, not to mention new role have meant some increased stress levels, but (hopefully) I feel calmer and more on top of everything now.
Stolen from Beege who has also tagged me for childhood memories which I WILL get around to as soon as I have some time to think!
7 things I plan to do before I die:
learn to play the piano
go to New York
Fly in a hot air balloon
Cry at my son's wedding
Be a grandma (I can't do that myself, but I want it!)
Find the ultimate lipstick
Own a terribly expensive handbag
7 things I can do:
Play the clarinet and guitar
Bake birthday cakes
Fashion icing figures for the top of these
Speak confidently to a room of people
Make people laugh
Eat the recommended fruit and veg each day
7 things I cannot do:
Use a lawnmower
Get my left and right correct all the time
Accept criticism well
Not be bothered what people think of me
Resist handsome men
Fly in aeroplanes (or indeed by any other method!)
7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
Sense of Humor
Sense of family
Ability to get on with my friends
7 things that I say most often:
Oh for God's sake
One, two, three, show me two hands
7 celebrities i find attractive:
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Freya Alys (pronounced Al-ees - Alys is the Welsh version of Alice which was our much loved maternal Grandmother's name, and my sister has Alys as a second name) was born after 24 hours labour by forceps at 2.02am. My sis is a complete star - and she looks magnificent, those endorphins certainly kick in!! Freya is beautiful, she looks just like my sister, and was a whopping 8lb 2 oz - which given the fact that my sister is not built like me at all, and is a slim 5 foot 2, is no mean feat.
Can't wait to go and see her next weekend at home - hospital visits are always pretty rushed and unstaisfactory, especially when you're on a tight timetable as there are other visitors expected, and have a four year old in tow. And your husband refuses to come with you - don't get me started on that.
Welcome to the World Baby Girl - your Auntie loves you already, and I promise to keep you in fabulous accessories forever!
Saturday, September 03, 2005
In the last five years:
- I have had a baby - who has grown into a fabulous four year old
- left a job that was quite frankly, toxic, even though I didn't realise it at the time
- found my niche - teaching
- got a first in my teaching degree
- my marriage is in a completely different and lots better place
- I have a brilliant relationship with all my close family
- I still have all the friends who mattered to me at the time, and I also have several more who mean a great deal to me
- I have eliminated about half a dozen toxic relationships from my life
- I weigh five stone less
- I am in a size 16-18!
- I have been to Egypt and seen the pyramids, and Athens and seen the parthenon and the Acropolis
- I have driven in France
- I have done a zip wire
- I have sung at a friends wedding
- I have finally sold my flat
- I have seen U2 live
- And The Pet Shop Boys
- And Morrissey
- I've seen my two best friends marry and have babies - and I'm the godmother to them both
- I've bought and sold on ebay
- I am TONS happier than I was five years ago
Isn't it funny how sometimes you have to look at the really big picture to realise how lucky you are?
Yesterday, she went in with a false alarm and I was beside myself with anticipation and...grief - i bawled for most of the afternoon and only stopped when my Mum rang to say that she had been sent home. I don't even know why, I'm of course overjoyed that I am going to be an auntie, but the emotion was immense.
So, today as displacement activities I have cooked a load of stuff for the freezer, done a load of laundry and taken A to the maize maze - and still the poor girl hasn't had the baby. I've had two texts from Mum (who taught that woman to text, it shouldn't be allowed!!) one saying that she had been put on a drip to speed things up and the second saying that the baby had a strong heartbeat but that if there was no progress in two hours then they would do a section. The two hours is up shortly.
Now I had a section - emergency - and I wouldn't voluntarily have one again. My sis, whom I adore, has pissed me off a couple of times during her pregnancy as she has said "oh I wish I could have a section" because that attitude really annoys me - that it's the easy option. I blame all these celebs who have the planned sections. It's traumatic major abdominal surgery. You could die. The baby could die. So I am here praying that she doesn't have to have one.
Hopefully there will be news soon. If not, my Dad will ring me (again) from his holiday in France to ask me "any news?" Yes Dad, she's had it and I couldn't be arsed to call you...
Sunday, August 21, 2005
You have brought joy, happiness, much laughter, purpose, perspective and some tough times, and for that I am grateful.
You are the funniest, cleverest, most loving person I have ever known, and I am so proud and happy to be your Mummy. I love you so much that sometimes I can hardly bear to think about it.
I love that you're growing up, because your new development phases are so much fun - but mourn the ones that have passed, and wish that my memory held even more.
In the words of your current favourite tune - "You're Beautiful".
I want so much for you - but most of all I want you to be happy, secure and kind, just like you are now.
Never forget who you are, Little Star.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
From Monday it's gone a bit downhill - we had to go and say goodbye to our friends who are moving down South.
Yesterday was the first "proper" day of the holidays - just me and A together, and I have to say, it was pretty hard work. We had a job to do, which was to sort out all the toys, as it is his birthday coming up, and we did that quite quickly, so we played a few games and watched a little TV. Then we did some painting/craft, but by the end of that we were really beginning to get grumpy with each other - so I took him to the park for an hour, which helped. I am not yet in Mum mode, I have forgotten what it is like to entertain a child all day with no support - at weekends there is always the two of us and we always have things to do, at the moment all my friends are on thier holidays, so we don't have anyone to go and play with, it will be better next week as Mike is on holiday and we have a few plans, and then after that all my mates are back.
To cap it all, Mike has come down with a dreadful tummy bug and has been up all night puking and the other - and my God is he loud when he does it!!! So now I have him off sick today as well; he doens't need looking after, but it IS an extra thing to deal with!!
I really want to enjoy this time with Alfie as I will never get it again, but yesterday knocked my confidence a bit in terms of my parenting skills.
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Three names I go by:
2. Mrs Davies
3. Mummy :)
Three screen names I’ve had:
3. no others
Three physical things I like about myself:
1. my boobs
2. my hair - on good days today is NOT one of those
3. my skin
Three physical things I don’t like about myself:
2. facial hair
3. top of my arms
Three parts of my heritage:
3. don't know!
Three things I am wearing right now:
1. Jeans - size 16 (hurray!)
2. Brown scoop necked top
3. turquoise round pendant
Three favorite bands/musical artists :
2. Pet Shop Boys
3. Robbie Williams
Three favorite songs:
1. Unfinished Sympathy - Massive Attack
2. Groovejet - Spiller
3. Where the Streets have no name - U2
- today anyway
Three things I want in a relationship:
1. a best friend
Two truths and a lie
1. I was once in Prima Baby magazine
2. My wedding ring cost £5
3. I sent an audition tape for the first Big Brother but they rejected me
Three physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to you:
Three favorite hobbies:
Three things I want to do badly right now :
1. Eat chocolate even though I am full
2. Have another glass of wine
3. Call in sick tomorrow (onlly 1.5 days to go!!!!)
Three things that scare me:
1. Dying and leaving my son motherless
2. Fish in tanks make me cringe
Three of my everyday essentials:
Three Careers you have considered or are considering :
1. Management - check
2. Teaching - check
3. Shop Ownership
Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. New York
Three kids’ names you like:
( I have used my favourite!)
Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Go in a hot air balloon
2. Sing in a club and be applauded
3. Be chatted up by someone unbelievably attractive - and turn him down
Three ways I am stereotypically a boy:
1. I like football
2. I swear quite a bit on occasio, patricularly at other drivers
3. I like drinking
Three ways I am stereotypically a girl:
1. I like shopping
2. I have given birth
3. I love shoes
Three celeb crushes :
1. Jack Davenport
2. Dermot O'Leary
3. Robbie Williams
Three people I am tagging:
Took Alfie for his first ever theatre trip yesterday - we went to see The Snow Dragon at the local theatre (I got free tickets) - it was good, the acting was a bit hammy, but the appearance of the Snow Dragon itself was very moving - my heavily pregnant sister was nearly in tears!
After a quick whizz around the shops we went for coffee at Cafe Nero.
Today, Viv and I took Alfie to see Madagascar while Mike was at a triathlon. It was pretty good, not a lot of substance, but Alfie proclaimed "I loved it!" when it was over, which is all that one needs! Then we went for a pizza and had a quick look at the Next sale - I got a pair of denim shorts which I love - they are sort of knee length and were £10 reduced from £22 - I waltzed about feeling like SJP in them and my snakeskin wedges when I got home!
I have spotted the most divine handbag and necklace in a local house/accessory shop - total cost £65, I am SOOOOOOOOO tempted, but balking at the extravagance. I don't have much money at the moment, but I do have a VISA card and a pay increase and joint account reduction from September, so I could...
Maybe I will take Mike there on Friday when we try to have a date, to celebrate the last day of paid childcare!
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
2. If you could choose any food in the world to be calorie/Points free what would it be?
3. If you could give Oscar the perfect 1st birthday party, with money and practicality no object, what would it be?
4. Do you have any regrets in your life? Is there a role for regrets or do you subscribe to the Robbie Williams' philosophy "they don't work"?
5. What is the best thing that you can imagine overhearing someone say about you behind your back?
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Here's how it works:
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions -- each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
Here are my questions from Dix and my answers
1. You are going to live in a foreign country for two years. Which country will you pick and why?
I would choose France. Now, I know lots of people aren't keen on France and the French, but it's a country I've visited lots and always had a great time. I speak the language, and I'd want to live in mid- France for decent weather. Love the food. Love the siestas. Love the little shops at the side of the road. Love the wine. It's near the UK so I could visit home, and I could drive to visit lots of other countries and have some nice visits. I could drive to see Dix and B. I may even look into this as a real possibility...
2. Jose Mourinho has asked you to dinner - strictly platonic of course. What will you wear and what sort of restaurant will you choose for dinner?
You see, Jose is currently on my "list", so I'm not sure how platonic it could be. I suspect Jose likes his ladies to be ladies, so I think I would be wearing my best black low cut show lots of boobies top and a knee length black chiffon skirt, which I don't own, but have just invented, natural fish nets and some pointy toed high heels. I'll have done a good fake tan, and naturally I will be well coiffed and made up.
I think that I would choose a restaurant with finger food and a bit messy as food can be quite erotic. Chinese maybe? No, perhaps somewhere intimate and quiet for some snogging, erm, I mean chatting
3. If you were forced to pick a career for your son, which would you pick for him?
I would want him to do something worthwhile but that would make him monetarily comfortable, and channelled into his talents. At the moment, he is especially good at singing, trampolining, eating ice lollies and kissing, so it's not really clear what kind of career he is fit for. I think that I would like him to be something like a ...I cannot believe how long it is taking me to answer this question! Everything I think of I can think of a reason I DON'T want him to be it. I think that a person that I know who I think does a worthwhile job for a lot of money is a friend of ours who is a Family Solicitor - he acts on behalf of children in domestic matters. I think that it must be harrowing sometimes, but that because he knows he is helping children, he gets a lot from his job, so perhaps something like that. Or maybe a fashion designer specialising in the more mature, curvier woman
4. You get to follow a band around for the duration of their European tour dates. Which band are you following and will you make an attempt to actually meet up with the band?
I had such a great time at U2, I think that it would be them. I don't think I would make an attempt to meet them though, I have always thought that that would be a disappointment
5. You are given the opportunity to do one of the following - which do you pick? A Saturday morning lie-in, lunch with one girlfriend, a night out with your best friends, or a facial and a manicure.
A night out with all my best friends without a doubt. I love a good night out, and to have all my favourite ladies there (see my alphabet post for who they are) with a meal, drinks, dancing would be my idea of heaven. A lie in wouldn't compare, nor a facial and manicure, as nice as they are.
If you would like to be interviewed, please leave a comment!
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
The interiew was fine from my point of view - it was roasting hot today and I had to wait a long time to be seen.
Anyway, the presentation went really well, but I didn't think that the question part of the interview had gone that well, but when I came out, Jayne, one of the deputy heads followed me and whispered to me that I had been fantastic, but I wasn't particularly convinced.
Anyway, Tina, the other deputy head came over to my classroom 20 minutes later and asked me to go back. I sort of hoped that they were going to offer me the job, but I really wasn't sure. When I got in there, the Chair of Governers immediately offered me the job "if I wanted it". Obviously I accepted.
But, the wierd thing today is the reaction of the other girl who didn't get it - she has barely spoken to me and been wierd. I know that it is hard, but I also know that I would not have been like that if I hadn't been successful. The whole day has been wierd.
Now of course I am panicking that I can't actually deliver what I have promised. But Mike and I have had some champagne, so that's nice.
Monday, July 11, 2005
A is for Age: I am 33 - all the threes, the age my mother was when my Dad left her with no job and three kids - God I'm lucky
B is for Booze: I like, especially wine. In fact, I don't think I drink anything else these days - the occasional G and T.
C is for Career: I am a Primary School Teacher
D is for Dad's Name: John
E is for Essential Item to Bring to a Party: A bottle (see B)
F is for Favorite Songs at the Moment: "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt. "Sometimes You Can't Make it on your Own" U2, "Vertigo" U2
G is for Goof-off Thing to Do: Surf t'Internet.
H is for Hometown: Sale, Near Manchester, England
I is for Instrument You Play: Guitar, also clarinet but not for a long time. I have a hankering to learn the piano
J is for Jam or Jelly You Like: I'm a jam fan, I have a lovely blackcurrant organic at the moment, I also love Lemon and Lime marmalade
K is for Kids: One, the divine Mr A
L is for Living Arrangement: I own a Victorian semi with my lovely hubby
M is for Mom's Name: Helen
N is for Names of Best Friends: apart from Mike and Alfie - Nicola, Clare, Gail, Sarah (R), Sarah (P), Rowena
O is for Overnight Hospital Stays: Broken leg (1984), nail in broken leg out( 1987), induction, birth and recovery from birth (2001)
P is for Phobias: I'm not keen on fish. And heights
Q is for Quotes You Like "No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent" Eleanor Rossevelt.
R is for Relationship That Lasted Longest: I've been with Mike 13 years and married 9 years
S is for Siblings: one sister, on brother, both younger. A step sister.
T is for Texas, ever been there?Never - only been to Florida
U is for Unique Trait: I don't think I have any!
V is for Vegetables You Love: Quicker to say the one that I don't - butterbeans. Love veggies!
W is for Worst Traits:Excessive self doubt
X is for X-rays You've Had: Lots - arm, leg, skull, hips, ultrasund scan of kidney and pelvic area, prenatal ultrasound scans, teeth
Y is for Yummy Food You Make: Mexican and chinese food, pasta ratatouille pie,moussaka, butter chicken, feta salad
Z is for Zodiac Sign: Scorpio - feel my hotness - rawr!!!
I'm watching a special BBC programme about the bombings, and (God knows how they managed it) they have people talking on it who were involved and also those who have lost people - except, they don't really know if they have lost people because no one knows their names yet, but thier friends and family are missing, presumed dead.
It gives me some perspective. We never know the day, the moment, that we could experience this bereavement and this pain. My greatest fear is premature death, not especially from my own perspective, but from the point of my son and husband, who would have to live without me; or that, God forbid, I would have to live without one of them.
Whatever happens tomorrow, it's not the end of the world.
Friday, July 08, 2005
My son was 2 1/2 weeks old on September 11th, and I wondered what kind of world we had brought a child into.
Yesterday I wondered again - I know that atrocities of famine and war take place daily, but I still feel that the absolute deliberate indiscriminate premediated actions in the name of GOD for goodness sake are just an outrage.
My God doesn't want this
I pray for those who have been bereaved and those who are injured, those poor, poor people, just minding thier own business. It could have been any of us.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Done some things since I last wrote!
This weekend I went on the Year 6 weekend away to an outdoor activity centre. I did a HUUUUGE thing for me:
I did a zipwire. Now, one of the big things about me is I HATE heights and anything even vaguely extreme sportslike. Spiders - no problem. Wasps - bring 'em on. Snakes - so?? heights - oh my f***** God. When I was 13, I went to Paris with my parents and had to go up the Eiffel Tower with them because otherwise someone would have had to stay at the bottom with me. I experienced pure fear, I clung to the centre part at the top and kept my eyes shut the entire time.
The whole point of the weekend was to help the Year 6 to get ready to leave the school to go to secondary school by facing challenges - some of these are things like the zipwire and trapeze, others are intellectual such as IT simulation and there are also some team challenges. Also, for most of them it's thier first ever time away, so it's an exciting and sometimes traumatising time.
Anyhoooow, I was determined I would do something that challenged me. I did archery for the first ever time, but this wasn't scary or expecially fear facing. I really wanted to do the zipwire, but I was terrified. What I did was go to each groups session ( we had three groups of 11-12 children) and volunteered to attach them to thier harnesses to climb up. The climb was the most worrying thing to me: you had to climb a seven foot ladder to the tree and then climb up the tree using what can only be described as large iron staples as footholds. Once you got 40 feet up, you swung over to a small platform, where an instructor hooked you to another different harness and you stepped off and slid down a long line about 150 feet to the end of the run, where the other participants were waiting. I attached all the children to thier harnesses and watched them attempt it - some were like little gazelles, revelling in it and practically running up the tree and sliding down with glee, and then others not manage past the ladder and still others really conquer thier fears and make it despite being terrified. Also, being involved in a mundane task to do with it kind of desensitises it. HOWEVER, I did not like or trust the man at the top on the platform - he just did not do it for me at all, and I didn't think that he was particularly empathic to the children. I ended up not doing it.
I was very pissed off with myself that night - I felt like a wus, but my colleagues were so encouraging and supportive that I really determined that I would at least try the next morning with the last group. I don't really believe in the hocus pocus stuff, but I really tried to visualise myself doing it. So, this morning, I went down with the group - all the other teachers cam along too, but instead of harnessing the children in, I stayed with the ones at the end, and got into a harness and a helmet. Most of the group I was with did it fairly easily, although one girl could not even attempt the ladder and one boy reached the top of the ladder as his own personal challenge. The good news for me was that it was a different man, and he was someone that I much preferred.
I got to the bottom of the ladder and called to the man at the top that I was terrified and he had to be kind to me. And then I started to climb. I knew that I had to do it really quickly, because if I thought about it I would stop and come down, and I knew that for me I had to do it. I more or less sped up the climb, and I simply couldn't even think, but I was shaking and more or less hyperventilating all the way up, but I kept hearing such encouraging shouts like "Go on" and "you're three quarters of the way there". I got to the top and burst into tears on the platform, and I told the guy I couldn't do the zip, so he said, I'll harness you and then we'll talk about it. The other teachers at the bottom were being really supportive and laughing because I said I needed the Fire Brigade to come and get me, and then he asked me to hold onto the rope with both hands so he could do something... and pushed me off.
For one split second I felt sheer fear - and then the tension went into the rope and I was fine - I even enjoyed it a quite a bit although I couldn't let go of the follow rope until I had nearly stopped. I got off and I was okay with the children but when I got back to the other teachers I broke down totally. I am so proud of myself. I know I would never have done this five stone ago.
Alfie had his visit to school - it went really well - he was fine. Mummy wasn't.
I went to see U2 - it was a fabulous experience. Gail got last minute tickets and we went together which was fab. One live. Where The Streets Have No Name live. Vertigo live. Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own live. Boy live. Oh . My. God.
Got an interview for my promotion - 12th July. A presentation. Shit.
That was the Zoe news.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Go to Google and click on the “Images” link. Type in the following and post the first (or your favorite) picture the search engine finds.
- The name of the town where you live-
Sale (what a wierd picture!)
The name of the town where you lived as a child
Zoe - euw!
Your Grandmother’s name (yeah, I know you probably had 2 (or more); just pick one)-
Your favorite food-
Your favorite drink-
Your favorite song-
Your favorite smell
How wierd some of these piccies are!
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Plus, it really is up to me to manage how I feel re: friends and everything.
Had a great day with Alfie yesterday, which always perks me up!
Thanks Dix and GoddessNoir for the pep talks!
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Having a bit of a crisis about myself, which began on Saturday. I went to a wedding, and wore cream trousers that are really too big for me, but I thought they looked ok, and a black top and jacket and a black hairpiece - you know the kind, all net and feathers. I thought I looked nice, until I met my friends who were all wearing flirty summery dresses with wraps and sandals and stuff, and I felt like shit. I had a nice time at the wedding anyway, although I continued to be dissatisfied with my appearance - my make up and hair are looking a bit tired these days, and I'm not sure what to do about that.
And it's kind of mushroomed into a crazy vine - each time I look in the mirror I am just really pissed off with myself. I feel like I can't manage to look ok, at 33 I haven't really a clue what to wear! And then I'm cross with myself for being so shallow. I have fab life, a great husband, a great son, a great job, a lovely work/life balance, a lovely home... so how can I be jealous of my beautiful girl friends, who are both single, pulling lovely men at the wedding on Saturday ('cos that's really what this is all about...) I bet they would both love to be me and have what I have - yet I am jealous of them. It's because I know deep down that if I were single, that wouldn't have happened to me, and unfortunately, even after ten years marriage (nearly) I still find myself judging myself on the opinion of a man. How sad is that? It doesn't help that Mike (who came down for the evening part of the wedding) wouldn't dance and sat a bit stony faced - he can do that stuff quite often, which really pisses me off, because I would like people to know that we are together, you know? We had a small row about that, but it was easily sorted, and he has apologised to me for it.
I feel like this is random blathering, I suppose I am feeling a bit lonely right now. I have tons and tons of friends, but my three best mates have just had babies and clearly have no interest in anything but thier babies, and rightly so. Two of my closest friends are moving away soon, my sister is pregnant, and I feel in a limbo place. I think it's unlikely that Mike will agree to us having another baby, so I'm in a place where soon my son will go to school and my interests regarding him will be different to all my friends who have one Alfie's age and another smaller one. My career is at the beginning, so I was out on a limb when we went away with our friends the other weekend as they are all ten years into thier careers that we all started together - I'm the only one to have bailed out and changed. I like my work colleagues, but I hate office politics, so feel detached, although friendly with them - certainly not in a place where I want to socialise with them outside of school, especially as I hope to progress managerially within the school.
God only knows what this is about... I do feel a bit better though. Off for lunch with three friends now ( see, see how I really have NOTHING to complain about??)
Monday, May 23, 2005
Here's how it works: I pick five of the following and answer them, and then I tag three people to do the same.
If I could be a scientist...If I could be a farmer...If I could be a musician...If I could be a doctor...If I could be a painter...If I could be a gardener...If I could be a missionary...If I could be a chef...If I could be an architect...If I could be a linguist...If I could be a psychologist...If I could be a librarian...If I could be an athlete...If I could be a lawyer...If I could be an inn-keeper...If I could be a professor...If I could be a writer...If I could be a llama-rider...If I could be a bonnie pirate...If I could be an astronaut...If I could be a world famous blogger...If I could be a justice on any one court in the world...If I could be married to any current famous political figure...
1. If I could be a chef ... I would develop a fabulous amount of healthy delicious low point dishes and open a restaurant for people looking after thier figure
2. If I could be a musician... I would amaze and please people by being able to sit donw at any old piano and playing requests
3. If I could be a painter... I would have the most fabulously visual classroom in the world
4. If I could be an inn-keeper...I would wear the most fabulous low cut leopard skin tops and lean on the bar sipping dry white wine, flirting with the customers and listening to thier problems. I wouldn't let in bitchy girls with attitude either.
5. If I could be a writer ... I would write novels that inspired and interested women like me.
I tag... um no-one as all the bloggers I know who visit here have already done it. *sob*
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Had a good week at school, today was the First Holy Communions, so spent the morning (a Saturday morning, no less!) calming over-excited seven and eight year olds in suits and white dresses and veils down. Made me feel poignant - won't be too long before that's Alfie! I told Mike that when I got home and he started getting pouty about whether or nor Alfie should have to make his HC or not. I said; "Hey - you're only letting me have one, so we're raising him MY way. Give me another one and you can have that one for the heathen!" That shut him up.
We're having friends for dinner tonight - the lovely Sarah and Chris, our bessie mates who are moving to Exeter (something we said?) and the heavily pregnant Suzanne and the drop dead gorgeous Mark. We are making Indian food - I have done onion bhajis and chicken makahni and naan bread and Mike is making paneer and peas. My stuff is WW friendly - Mike's: not so much.
Speaking of WW, after last week's 2lb loss I have put 2 1/2 on this week, so , back to where I began really! It is TOTM, but even so I was pissed off yesterday. So, I am taking a short break from it. Not to start eating chips with a Cadbury chaser, but not counting points - just making sensible choices. Today, I have had porridge and sausages in pittas with some grapes. And you know what? Not been hungry. And you know what? Not snacked. And you know what? Only had 11 points so far today. Interesting. I'll only panic if I can't get in my 16 trousers!
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Anyhow, the childnre were fabulous! They did extraordinarily well - we have been rehearsing for weeks but you never know what it's going to be like. Here's what we did:
- showed a Shape poem we wrote about a set of spooky stairs - we did this in a stair formation too
- showed a retelling of a traditional tale using a puppet theatre - three Billy Goat's Gruff
- two children read extracts from thier stories
- showed sunflowers we are growing
- showed observational paintings of sunflowers
- talked about our history project about homes
- demonstrated number bonds to 10 and counting in 2,5 and 10
- performed a musical version of In The Ning Nang Nong
- talked about our Geography field trip
- showed nice words we had thought about on 100th day
...and then I collapsed in a heap!
They really were fab, I was proud of them and the parents really enjoyed it. Everyone on the staff was really complementary.
It's been a good week at school, everyone is very enthused after a trip this week to see a wonderful school in a deprived area. Long may it last!
Oh, did I mention that it is Saturday? And I have a girls' dinner tonight? I may need a second taxi to carry my under-eye bags with me.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Monday, May 02, 2005
So, it was an unusual feeling yesterday to initiate something. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you: a child who went to bed with no nappy on last night.
We've built him up to the process and prepared him, bought extra bedding and a rubber sheet and made a star chart.
And it went - ok. First he got up four times in between 7.30 - 8.30 to wee, which is wierd because normally it's lights out, no noise for 12 hours, but we've put this down to nerves and novelty. Then, he made it all the way through until 6am, when he wet the bed - I'm putting that down to him waking and forgetting that he had no nappy on. Also, I think it's probably good for him to experience that feeling, as I'm pretty sure that he won't want to experience it again. Watch this space...
Thursday, April 28, 2005
I never used to bother much about my weight – I did until I was about 27-8 and then tried to accept myself for the way that I was. I always prided myself on dressing well and looking nice and hoped that no one would notice. I told myself that people would never for one minute guess my weight, to be honest I didn’t really know what it was myself. I only weighed myself regularly when I was pregnant, and even then only in kilos as I don’t really understand those, and could only make a rough estimate of the stones value. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t put on too much weight. In actual fact, I didn’t put on too much – only about 2kg! Probably because I wasn’t drinking wine (or liquid sugar, as I like to call it) and also the hormone thing I had going on was being regulated by pregnancy. Anyway, I came out of hospital lots lighter than I did before I was pregnant, at least I’m assuming so, as I had a 10lb baby and all the accompanying blood, water and other ick. In fact I was quite trim (relatively) until I went back to work and stopped breastfeeding. And then back to square one.
Once I left work and stopped eating all the drug rep lunches and consoling myself with nice food because I was so miserable at work, about a stone, stone and a half dropped off nicely, but still this time last year I was 117kg (18 stone 3lbs), and in the May half term I asked my Mum to get me some Weightwatchers books from her class and joined the on-line community. I’m not one of the “faces” there, but I’m an avid reader and get lots of tips and advice. I honestly think that the fact that I’m not putting £5 into the hand of some woman who lost 16lbs and thinks that she can empathise with me every week is what’s kept me going. I have had so many plateaus (plateaux?) that I am sure I would have stopped going were I parting with hard earned cash for the privilege of being informed “stayed the same” or “1lb on” and advised regarding my diet – again. But bizarrely, because I have only myself to answer to, I feel like I’m finding it a lot easier. So now, I am 14 stone 7 – I look great and I feel it, even though I am far too heavy in the eyes of the medical world. I have only really lost about 5-6 pounds since Christmas, but I am plugging away. Ideally I could lose another stone, I don’t particularly want to replace my entire wardrobe again, and also I want to be realistic about what I can take off and keep off. Better that surely than get to 10 stone and they bounce back up to the late teens again because it’s untenable. To be honest, I like being womanly, and I mean really womanly, not “J-Lo, she’s so curvy” womanly. I like my knockers and bottom and waist, I also think bigger women look older less quickly.
People never cease to be amazed when I tell them I have lost five stone, and to be honest I never cease to be amazed myself. I think I do have a greater self-confidence, mainly because I feel less and less that people are judging me by my size. I know that no matter how PC this world claims to be, fattism is the last taboo. You can’t call someone a racist epithet, but you can call someone a fat cow or a fat bitch or a stupid lazy lard arse. I am not saying that fattism is worse than racism, but hey, if you’re experiencing that level of discrimination or abuse then it hurts regardless of what it’s for, and it’s never justifiable. To be honest, I’ve never really experienced much of that since I left school, but I do not lots of people who have and I know how awful it makes them feel.
I despair of a society that makes people feel like that and lauds the skinny. I can’t bear these articles about normal sized women becoming lollipops – why? Mike and I were watching an old episode of Friends the other day –series 2. Aniston and Cox were both really petite and yet both managed to become even skinnier – to the point of emaciation by the end. And Courtenay wonders why she needed IVF? I know nothing of her life, but I’m pretty sure that stature won’t have helped whatever was wrong with her. Vicky Beckham? In any other walk of life her concerned family would have been seeking medical advice and perhaps they are? There’s no natural reason for the way she is? Look at the early Spice Girl videos – she’s normal sized! PCOS doesn’t make you thin, it makes it hard to get weight off, you only need to look at the WW boards for that.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
I had an okayish time on the Hen Night. We hooked up with Sian's husband at midnight for a lift home - Sarah invited us all into her house where Chris had some friends round - ended up leaving at 3am! Hen Night was as expected - too much aimless wandering around town heading for "The Bar" to be in and finishing up in a hole. Ach so!
Had the NCT girls (well, my fave three) round on Sunday which was nice especially as the weather was nice. Made cakes with Alfie for it to make up for staying in bed until midday due to wine inflicted head. Nic came round as well, she was a bit quiet. I don't really know what or whether to do anything about her, maybe the way that she is is normal for people who have had a baby, I think I coped really well the first few months, it was only going back to work when the problems set in... I'm trying to be there for her when she needs it, keep in touch, offer to help/babysit/go out with her etc - can't do much more really.
The children are restless at school - the weather is better and I think that makes them high spirited. I remember Margaret saying last year that in the Summer they start getting ready to move on and become less interested in where they are and more in where they're going. I have also come to the conclusion that one of the women I work with is one of the most negative people I have ever met. I actually get on really well with her, but she complains and finds fault in so many things that I cannot believe for one minute that when I am not there she isn't finding fault and complaining about me too. I have heard her say such unbelieveably two faced things that there's no way I escape it. What's interesting is that that doesn't really bother me, whereas once upon a time it would have.
I think that's why I am enjoying my 30s so much - I have so much more self confidence and so much less angst in my life. I was reading dietgirl today and she has a lot to say about still being the fat girl within, and not feeling better about herself since she lost weight. I don't think I feel like that. I DO feel better about myself, but then I don't think that I had the kind of feelings that she and others describe either. Having Alfie really helped my self confidence too - I felt that I had new purpose in life, and that because someone was wholly depending upon me, I had to believe in myself. Also, changing career and doing something I am really good at also helps a lot - something that hasn't taken over my life and become the be-all and end-all.
Saturday, April 23, 2005
In (more or less) chronological order:
Pennys, 1995 - now I am not friends with this girl anymore - she is the archtypal toxic friend, but in 1995 I was her bridesmaid, in the most unflattering dress ever, with dreadful hair and cerise and lilac eyeshadow. I also organised a drinks and clubbing night out for her with four of our other friends from University. It was OK, but she was mardy because no men wanted to talk to her, even though she was the bride. Could have been something to do with her sour face and "I'm better than you" attitude.
My own 1996 - fifteen friends in a Greek Taverna with plate smashing and belly dancing. I did actually really enjoy that -we ate at the restaurant, we danced at the restaurant, I had made very clear instructions regarding absence of condoms, L plates, veils etc. It was good - for me anyway.
My sisters 1998 - a damp squib. I would point out that my sister is now divorced, and had we understood that there was a hen night/marriage correlation, we would have kidnapped her to avoid her going up the aisle. Me, my best friend, her, her best friend, two of her fiancees friends wives. A restaurant in Altrincham and a cheesy nightclub across the road. it was an ok night out but if it had been mine I would have been disappointed.
My friend Gill's 1998. Brasingermans in Hale, the footballer's wives club, recently made famous by Wayne Rooney smacking Colette in there. A reasonably good, well organised night, infamous in my own memory for myself and my friend R taking our friendship a stage further than either one of us might have thought... nuff said. (NB but only first base)
My friend Michaelas 1998. Meal in a Nottingham Bella Pasta - ok, club - appalling, didn't stay past ten minutes, evening spent in hotel bar getting pissed until 5am with my friend Liz from Uni, eventually having a grapple with a young man met there. In my defence, my marriage was in a BAD WAY at this stage, and I wasn't a nice person in my 20s. Not a great night for me.
My friend Rowenas 2000. I arranged this - a night in my fave restaurant, then clubbing in my favourite club. Nicola came, Row's mates were nice, everyone stayed at mine, it was good.
My best friend Nicolas 2001. I had a five week old baby, I was wearing breast pads in my bra, I had on a stretchy black top and skirt that were about the onlythings I could manage to get on. I had also developed a lovely red, itchy post partum rash (at the beginning and the end of my pregnancy I also had it - apparantley it is a oestrogen rush). We went ot a crappy Chinese buffet and I had two guinesses and went home. Hated it.
Katherine's 2002. Nic's sister in law. The very worst one - nasty chavvy friends of Katherine's in a dreadful bar with an awful stripper (!!!!). We ditched it, departed to our favourite gay bar and watched Pop Idol with big glasses of wine. I looked awful too.
My other best friend Clare's in 2003. Clare invited us all to Centreparcs and we had a meal in an Italian restaurant on the Friday and a party in a cabin on the Saturday. We dressed up as angels for the party and it was ok because no one else saw us. The people were nice and I had a little break away from home. I enjoyed this one.
Debi's, 2004. Nice meal in a trendy restaurant, then a few drinks. Poured with rain. When they deicided to go to the chavvy Deansgate Locks bars, Nic and I ditched them and went clubbing.
Nerys' 2004. Apalling. The bride was 8 weeks pregnant and spent most of the night outside and apart from me, Nicole and Louise,everyone was in thier 50s. Could not wait for it to be over.
It's not a great list. I have been to a million weddings - Mike and I are seriously professional wedding guests, so I thought that I had been to more Hen nights, I think that often I must have made an excuse especially if it was in another town and involved an overnight stay. Plus, in my 20s I was working like an automatum, so probably didn't make the time, especially if there was a wedding to go to 5-6 weeks later.
So now I'm not holding out a great deal of hope for tonight. On paper it sounds good, a meal in a gorgeous restaurant, Velvet, and then drinks in various bars. I think that they have planned it well which is always an option rather than people standing around arguing about where to go. I know that there is a drink planned at Restaurant Bar and Grill, which I love.
It's a Sex and The City themed night, and I do have a red dress, which is one I bought for a posh wedding in November. I have a clashing coral cardigan. I have a red bag and shoes. I am faked tanned. My hair is having a good week. I am at my lowest weight for years and years.
I have a feeling of dread.
Friday, April 22, 2005
I'm not a great fan of my "caesarean overhang". I inverted comma'd that because in fairness, I had it before I had a section, but I like to blame it on having a baby. Clearly, five stone down the line, it looks better but it'll always be there
2) Handful or just a few sheets of toilet paper?I absolutely use too much, but I don't like to touch my own waste wherever possible
.3) What is the absolute smelliest place you've ever visited?I don't know about the smelliest, but the filthiest was a toilet in a cafe in Pisa (get me!) *shudders*
4) Name an entertainment person you'd like to muzzle...and not in a pervy bondage kind of way.Jay Leno. He just clatters like a bell clap.
5) Name an entertainment person you'd like to muzzle...in a pervy bondage kind of way.Is football counting as entertainment here? Because the obvious choice is my real husband Jose Mourhinio.
6) Weapon of choice: noogie, nipple twist or the claw?I really don't know what any of these things are!
.7) Did you ever give someone a food that was not what they thought it was or had been altered in some disturbing way?I have lied to Alfie about what is in his dinner on occasion.
8) Is there ever a non-bodily-threatening reason to kick a guy in the crotch?Probably not
9) You meet the love of your life. You find out later that they are your long lost second cousin. Make it or break it?You see, I'm not sure who is your second cousin. Is it your cousin's cousin? 'Cos I'm sure that that's OK, as you're not related to them by blood. Or is it your cousin's child? Because that WOULD be wierd. Or, your cousin's parent? Euwww.
10) Where's the weirdest place you've ever used the bathroom?In a wood.
11) You have to pick one politician you dislike to get jiggy with. Who is it, and why?Michael Portillo. It's that slightly unpleasant, public schoolboy, filthy in the sack thing (although I may be the wrong gender for the married but childless Tory boy)
12) Cremation or burial?Burial
13) Would you rather be a kleptomaniac or agoraphobic?Agoraphobic.
14) Would you rather have a house with a poltergeist or bugs?Bugs - I am skeered of things like poltergeists!
15) Mickey Mouse and Winnie the Pooh are tied to the train tracks. You only have time to free one before the train comes. Who do you save?Definitely Winnie - Micky sucks big time.
16) If you were being reincarnated and had to choose a different race then you were in this life, what would you choose?French - love the language, the style and the food. I would not be a rude Parisienne though.
17) You get the choice to be one of these three, what do you choose: the prettiest person in the world, the richest person in the world, or the smartest person in the world.The smartest. I would love to be intelligent and interesting.
18) Samantha or Jeannie? Samantha - loving that nose wiggle.
19) Would you rather be trapped in Dallas, Melrose Place or Desperate Housewives?Desperate Housewives. My current favourite and I am torn between wanting to be Susan. Bree or Lynnette. I have no desire to be Gabrielle.
20) Trashiest food craving? Millionaire's shortbread - that stuff with caramel and chocolate on it...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
1) ... gift that someone gave you? Was it for a special occasion or just out of the blue? What's the last gift that you have given to someone else, and why? Did they like it?
The last gift I was given was probably a bunch of flowers by my husband for our Anniversary in March. Or some Easte chocolate from one of my pupils
The last gift I gave to someone else was an overnight bag to my sister for her birthday - she chose it herself, but I also gave her a Wonder Woman lunchbox I got from ebay as a surprise. She seemed to like it!
2) ... time that you took a walk? Where did you go? Did you walk with someone or go alone? Did you see anything interesting along the way? Do you enjoy walking as a form of exercise?
I walked for five hours around Chester Zoo on Sunday with Alfie. Saw a lot of animals! I like to work but for a purpose rather than aimlessly.
3) ... thing that you thought of before going to bed last night? Why was it on your mind? Did you sleep well last night? Did you have any dreams?
At the moment, I seem to just pass out at bedtime, I am barely conscious the minute I put out the light. So I'm not truly sure what I last thought of. I slept really well. I dreamed that I was about to embark upon an affair with the very attractive father of one of my pupils, who came to talk to me about his son's reading at hometime which is probably why he was on my mind
4) ... day of high school like for you? What were your feelings on that day? Do you still keep in touch with any high school friends?
I remember going to the pub after the last day but that's it. I was probably glad - I wasn't miserable, but they weren't the best years of my life, I was dying to go to University. I am still in touch with Clare my best friend from school, she is my son's godmother.
5) ... phone call you made? To whom, and how long did you talk? Are you on the phone often? How many phones do you have at home?
The last one I made was to a friend but he didn't answer. I took one last night from my husband telling me he was on his way home. I like chatting on the phone but not as much as I used to - my bills used to be huge, but email and texting have taken over a bit. We have a landline and we both have mobiles at home.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
I really am finding that the older/thinner I get the less I can deal with alcohol. I have always had a good capacity for the demon drink, and never really suffered from hangovers, but recently I've had some corkers. Dear readers, I do not wish you to think of me as a raving alcoholic, I only really drink once or twice a week, it's just that there have been one or two big social occasions lately and I do feel the need to share them with you! Today's was compounded by lack of sleep too - didn't get in until 1.30am and Alfie woke up at 6.30am. Mum got up with him, but I woke up anyway and the dozing type of sleep that you get after that isn't very refreshing.
Found out that Chris and Sarah are moving to Exeter - only about 200 miles away. I really feel sad about this. Sarah and I met when we were pregnant, trained as teachers together and Chris and Mike are really good friends and so are Alfie and Leo. I think we are going to be bereft, they are are best family friends, and Exeter is really far away. I hate it when life deals you a duff hand.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Before I start, I must add at this point, that I have NO intention of leaving Mike and Alfie for anyone, but someone might if this happened to them.
Yesterday my friend Gail had her baby (boy, 8lb 11oz, Joseph, for those interested) and I found out through a text I received at lunchtime at work. So, I duly informed those I was responsible for informing, ie Mike, my sister and my friends Nicola and Debbie, by text. Now I have two numbers in my phone for Debi for some reason, so, not knowing which was the one that worked, I texted both. Within a few minutes, I received texts back from all four of them, saying"great, how lovely etc". A couple of minutes after that, I recieved ANOTHER text from Debi, this time from the other phone, saying: "Is this your new number" so I texted back saying "Yes."(it's relatively new, so...) and then "are you texting me from your new phone and your old phone?".
The texts progressed as below:
"Debi": I am getting some new sofas in June, what do you want me to do with yours, I also have some post for you." WTF?
Me: Sorry, I don't know what you're talking about?
"Debi": Who is this?
At this point, I realised that I had inadvertently sent a text to the wrong person, and her number must have been reallocated, so:
Me: My names Zoe and I think I have texted you by mistake, when passing on baby birth news. Sorry.
Strange person: Unless of course, this is fate...
At this point, we all went a bit crazy in the staffroom as they had been following what was going on - a bit half heartedly until this point. Eventually I sent a text back (after some discussion)
Me: That depends on your gender
Now, I know that this is a bit naughty, but what the hell
Him: I'm a 6'4" male, 26, look a bit like Orlando Bloom
??? Hello!!!??? I'm not daft, I've been hanging around in cyberspace for long enough, people are not who they present themselves as being, most likely 5'4", 46, look a bit like Danny DeVito. Anyway, the staffroom erupted at this stage, so I texted back
Me: Oh really, and elf then?
Him: No sweetheart, elves don't exist...
At this point, I had to make a decision, and I decided to kick this into touch
Me: Oh well, not fate then as I've been waiting all my life for a 6'4" elf. I also think that if you're 26, I might be a little bit too old for you.
Didn't hear anything back from him after that. I'm aware that written down this looks a bit lame,but it was actually quite exciting! Plus, the purpose of this blog is primarily to keep a journal of my life for me, and I want to have this memory. My readers, lovely as they are, have to put up with some inane wittering every now and then!
Friday, April 08, 2005
(*- heh heh, when I first typed that, I accidentally typed "Every Great Dong 1985-2005", which made me snigger to think that there might be such a programme, with all the great penises of the last 20 years mid Friday afternoon for bored housewives)
So, today, I watched the Pope's funeral with my gay best friend Tony, until two weeks ago also my boss, who turned out to be the best person ever to watch the Pope's funeral with, as we managed to combine gossiping about work, eating bacon butties, crying and discussing whether or not mantillas work better in black or white. (The answer is black, no one should ever wear a white mantilla) In fact, I think I need a mantilla, I have always loved the drama of them and after today, I think I really ought to get one, although where I would actually wear it I do not know - I would hardly wear it to Sunday Mass, although that would be the natural place to weat one (in 1950).
Then I stripped the beds and did the laundry and the ironing. My sister is coming tonight for a shopping day tomorrow so I need clean bed linen, and IMHO bed linen needs to be ironed.
Yesterday I also went shopping as tomorrow is for my (pregnant) sister really. I bought a coral skinny fit cardigan to go over my red cocktail dress, which I will be wearing for Joanne's SATC themed Hen Night. I felt I needed some arm cover, and a clashing skinny fit cardigan was perfect, and will go with lots of other things and was 50% off at an already bargaineous price of £14.99. I got one in pink too, and a cheeky chocolate coloured lace wrapover. I checked out the new ASDA (Walmart) Living shop and bought some dee-vine shoes for £15 in the sale - it was nearly two pairs, so I got off lightly really.
Now you see VH1 are spoiling it with J-Lo "Get Real". How exactly does this constitue a "great song"?
Sunday, April 03, 2005
God Bless, Il Papa.
Today's was a Jabberjack's party, which I was especially interested in as it is what I have in mind for Alfie's 4th birthday in August. The Mum of one of the children in my class runs these and it was great - fun, entertainment, singing, dancing, puppets etc. Natch, Alfie was somewhat overawed and clingy at the beginning, but really got into it, although he wouldn't let me move more than about 3 feet away from me - cue me playing with puppets, jumping up and down with Tigger, lying under the parachute and playing Sleeping Lions etc etc - good job I have no shame. Anyway, I am definitely going to book him one for his birthday as it was great - loads more fun for the kids than running around in the soft play, although that is good too. I was amazed how many parents just left thier children there though - I know I am a bit clingy to Alfie but I would never leave him in a strange place like that. I hope that people don't just drop thier kids off for his party - mind you, apart from about three or four children at Alfie's party, mostly it will be my friends there, not just nursery parents, so they won't.
I am testing this to see if it works
Friday, April 01, 2005
Had a lovely night though, Sarah was on top form.
Been feeling rather under the weather today though, the older and the thinner I get the harder the grape hits me. Watched the new series of Footballers' Wives that Mike had videoed for me - it was quite good although I didn't like the bits with the babies. Nicola came round with the fabulous James this afternoon, it was really nice to see her, and James was as good as gold, he had a lovely sleep on my lap, I haven't lost my knack.
So far the holidays have been pretty good fun, I am looking forward to another week off although I do have to go into school on Tuesday