Sunday, February 27, 2005

Maybe this will work


I want to do something fancy

So, I want to test doing a hyperlink. Here is a blog I love reading:

Had a really nice weekend - yesterday Alfie and I crossed the Pennines and went to Leeds to visit my oldest friend Clare and her new baby Emily, who is very nice indeed! Dropped in on BIL and SIL.

Today Nicola came to vist with the divine baby James, and had a good chat and lots of cuddles with James.

Back to basics WW going extremely well.

This post is so dull it doesn't even have a title!

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Scrunch, munch, crunch

Is the sound of me eating a large portion of humble pie/my own words - whichever has less points.

I had a really great time - apart from two things, more on them later.

Rhubarb was a lovely restaurant - the menu that we chose from was actually not the "sample menu" on the website, but the occasions menu. I had - a rocket and parmesan salad, but left a lot of parmesan, as the rocket to parmesan ratio was poor, very nice balsamic dressing; sea bream with lemon and watercress potatoes and salsa, and then I had a rhubarb creme brulee - hence the rocket starter! It was lovely, and I had a great time with my friends who were all drinking and all on good form - especially Jo, mentioned earlier, which was good to see. Only bones - why did we split the bill, when I wasn't drinking -I paid my share of 4 bottles of wine, which seemed a little harsh, especially in an expensive restaurant, and also, today I feel hungover, which seems also harsh. I think it's tiredness, as I didn't get to bed until 12.30, and had bizarre dreams about my old history teacher. Hmmmm...

Anyway, off to Leeds this afternoon with my beautiful son, to visit my oldest friend, Clare and her new baby Emily, and then to pop in on my BIL and SIL who, bizarrely, live across the road from Clare.

Did a HUUUUGE Tesco shop this morning - all of it healthy and all sticking to the Plan as devised by me yesterday over breakfast to get back on track. Broccoli and Cauliflower soup, leek and butternut squash soup and aubergine, mushroom and lentil curry are now gently simmering on my cooker.

What I find bizarre about this WW adventure is that for the first time ever, despite setbacks, I am sticking to it - good week and bad have the same effect; I want to carry on. Don't get me wrong, I'll never be skinny, but I have this desire to keep going until I know it's right to stop, and then, see what happens. I'll always have a Big Girl Psyche, because I'll always be a Big Girl, it's a part of who I am, but I don't feel like I'm trying to conform to anything, or be anything that anyone else wants me to be - I'm happy in my skin and have been for ages, and maybe that's why things are working pretty well?

How I ramble on, I really like how this blog helps me to organise my thoughts, even though it must make very strange reading...

Friday, February 25, 2005

Gonna make this a night to forge-het...

I may never have felt less like going for a night out in all my life. And even the great Goddesses Shiraz or Grigiot won't help me out for I am ....driving. Yes, in an attempt to a) stop worrying about my liver and b) cut down on my calorie intake.

We ARE going to a nice restaurant ( Poppy!) but I can't be arsed. The girlfriends ARE nice ones which is good. But I really want to be at home with my man and the sofa and a chow mein. And a quick visit or two with one of the aforesaid Godesses. I don't know why I feel so blue (sounds like Crystal Gayle just walked in) but I do. But no, I am sitting here in a thrupenny showing top and some brown pants messing around on my blog to delay going out.


Be back later...

Thursday, February 24, 2005

So, to explain about the advert

Asda is Walmart's UK branch. Obviously, you know who Sharon Osbourne is, her profile is even higher over here since she was a judge on The X Factor, a kind of over developed version of Pop Idol created by Simon Cowell (who is my secret boyfriend), and faking an antipathy towards my Simon despite accepting an enormous paycheck from him every week, all for the sake of ratings. In actual fact, I quite like Sharon, she loves her family and she's not scared to make herself look good at any cost, without becoming Bride of Wildenstein. Anyway, I digress.

So, Shazzer attends her local ASDA (Walmart) and collects a trolley and says to camera "I'm here at ASDA to find out about the great value Mum's can get at ASDA."
Point 1 - as IF she would ever shop there
Point2 - is it 1978? Surely that style of advertising went out then, if not before?
Point 3 - only Mums can do the shopping?(I mean, that is apparantley the case in this house but that's another story altogether...

So, then there is a sequence of Sharon inspecting things and putting them into her trolly whilst extolling the virtues of the purchases - ie a pizza from the fresh pizza section (Quote: "I won't have to cook tonight" oh yeah), fingering a little girl's dress from the clothes section ("Such attention to detail!") and stacking up a pile of DVDs (That'll keep the kids quiet for a few hours"), and then inspecting the receipt at the end and unsurprisingly coming to the conclusion that, in fact, ASDA is good value for money (yup, well it'd probably be even better if they weren't paying you £18 squillion to gurn at us on TV, Shazzer) before gently tapping some poor old fella working for ASDA twice on the butt as she leaves the store (NB Overseas readers: tapping the bottom twice at the end of the ASDA advert is a tradition - it means that ASDA are fantastic value for money as you have much more left in your back pocket after shopping there.)

Now I am an occasional ASDA shopper, basically because they have a better range of skinny cows than anywhere else in the UK and also they are dirt cheap at the end of the month compared to Tesco (my supermarket du choix). I actually feel like never shopping there again after seeing that ad.

So Poppy - that's the dirt on the ASDA advert.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

*smacks own bottom twice*

I have had to return to say "HOW dreadful is Sharon Osbourne's ASDA advert????"

NB apologies to my International Readers (get me!) who have no idea what I'm talking about, but my God it is bad!

Train comes, I don't know its destination....

There is a possibility that I may be getting a promotion at work... watch this space, I am rather in shock.

Mummy moment this morning - I am on the toilet when Alfie starts shouting "Mummy, Mummy!" up the stairs and then starts pelting up them. So I call"Mummy's just on the toilet!" and he carries on and appears at the door (I don't lock or even shut it) and says "Mummy I have amazing news, you'll never believe your eyes... the lady on the television has just said that it's going to SNOW this evening!!!!"

The absolute joy and amazement in his face and voice was just marvellous, not to mention that my son is clearly a child genius, watching and understanding BBC Breakfast News.

Just watching Jamie's Dinners, being horrfied at the diet of the youth of today, and vaguely smug about my vegetable and fruit loving child who only eats wholemeal bread, and has museli and porridge for breakfast

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

A mish mash of things

I feel unbelieveably mardy today - there's no real reason to, I just do. I got in bed last night and BAWLED reading the opening chapter of Elizabeth Jane Howard's Confusion which I have read 84,000 times. This morning I got my period and all became clear.

I then proceeded to tuck into the most yucky but yummy chocolate cake for Trish's birthday at work, thus undoing the good work of a four point swim and a four point underspend of yesterday. Damn me and my menstrual cycle!!!!

SOOOOOO wanted a pizza for tea - a big cheese drenched delight with garlic bread and chips. I didn't have it but had beef burritos instead which was a good thing to do. Still wanted pizza though.

Just had a phone call from Jo, a girl from my mum's group/book group about a get together this Friday night. I like her she's dead nice - she had a baby born too early last year, and he really tragically died, and I know that I have been rubbish since then - because I am terrified to say the wrong thing to her, I end up bumbling or saying irrelevant things, or stopping myself from saying things. Like tonight, she was asking about another one of our friends, and I said, oh, she's fine, I think it's okay to say... about to say she's pregnant, and then stopped and changed it to with her new man. Why? Why did I do that? As if Jo is not going to find out soon enough, and might easily remember that I had said a cryptic messy thing to her on the phone? Because we are not close, I decided to folloow her lead and if she wanted to talk about it with her then I would, but if not I would treat her like normal, and I think it might have been a mistake.
Then again, hello Zoe, you are not the centre of everyon's universe, and Jo probably doesn't give a chuff about what I think.

Monday, February 21, 2005

It's that time again, when I lose my brain...

Damn the nasty period pain - am I the only one who gets it about three days before it starts, making me feel uncomfortable and mardy? And how come the periods come around so damn quickly, surely it isn't four weeks since the last one? (NB it is - I checked this morning when I felt the evil lead belt begin to tighten around my abdomen and back)

Day began well at 6.55 am when I came downstairs ready to face the day just as my co-teacher texted me to say she would be off sick today, so I spent the morning being responsible for 50 children... nice.

Apart from that it has been a good-ish day - it was nice to be back with my little loves, they are sweeties. Came home to an e-mail from an ebay purchaser moaning, so have paypalled her a refund, I'm not getting into an argument - I really didn't like her sh*tty attitude though. I am officially Nigella Lawson as I walked in from work, took off my parka (it is effing freezing!) and made a fish pie from scratch for dinner. Hope to God that the prawns were ok... off for a swim later to make inroads into the 15 point deficit - two swims and 2 20 point days ought to do it. Someone asked me if I'd lost more weight this morning which was nice as I have officially been on a plateau for a month.

It's really nice that I have three regular readers! Hi Jess, Sally and Poppy! Also Hi to Kirsty and Kristen who I know have popped by - it gives me more impetus to write now I have a small "fan" base, I'm glad I have come out of the blogging cupboard, now I've got over the stress of realising that my innermost thoughts can be read by people. Still not giving Mike the URL - at least until posts about condom sex and still fancying old college friends have been consigned to further hidden archives!

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Four posts in a day!

Just got back from a children's party at a Brewsters (their motto: Hell on Earth). Alfie was somewhat of a wallflower, he was very shy and overcome by it all, would not eat any of the party tea (I don't actually blame him, it was fried stuff from Hell) and insisted that I accompany him everywhere he went on the soft play stuff, or was at least in eyesight. Which in hindsight is not a terrible thing, after all he is only 3, and quite frankly it's not a great place to be as a grown up, lots of older children running manically around with little supervision from the parents. It is the absolute last place I would have a child's party, but I worry so much that he is going to be very shy and suffer socially as a consequence. He's made a lot of progress in the last couple of months and I know that me worrying doesn't help, but I'm afraid that I do.

The main thing is that he has come home and told Mike that he had a great time, so at least he is not emotionally traumatised by it all. Just me. I could happily fall into a large glass of red. Which is not good as I have already consumed two bottles this weekend. And I am about 15 points down for the week already, and it only began on Friday...

Just pinched this from Sal

READING: Just finished Jenny Coglan's Talking to Addison. It was pants. I need a good book. BLOGGING:
Poppy -
Sal - fellow UK blog and close personal friend darling...
Chubby Girl Brigade - Poppy hooked me on this - as a totally chubby girl (despite the diet) I LOVE this blog!
Some Smiths, some U2, some old Madchester stuff last night with G and J, lots of Radio 2 and Radio 4.
WATCHINGDesperate Housewives is the only thing I remember watching this week, i seem to watch TV rarely at the moment, I haven't a clue what I'm doing instead. Oh and Fat Friends at my Mum's which I wasn't impressed with at all.
EATING out a lot - lunch at Tampopo with Mike on Mon, lunch at Grinch with Kath on Tue, Lunch at Frankie and Benny's with Mum, Viv and Alfie on Thur, lunch at Tesco with Alfie on Friday, dinner at The Nose in Chorlton with Sarah, Nicole and Louise on Friday. And I wonder why my weight loss is evening off...
WEARING my new Etam jeans with various tops and my knee high mock croc boots underneath. I have reluctantly put them in the wash today, I don't like my DP ones so much, and unfortunately I pulled the tags off them, otherwise I would return them. Since my shopping post, I also bought two pairs of shoes from Matalan (one pair is fab, black t-bar wedges!) and a black wrap dress, which I wore over my jeans on Friday night and felt rather chic!

The first cut is the deepest

We had friends round for dinner last night, G and his wife J. G is a friend of mine from University, who I basically engineered a friendship with in the hope that he would fall in love with me, which he never did, but the friendship has endured, he is a fabulous man, however we have not met face to face since his wedding in 2000, although we have had letter, e-mail and telephone contact. So it was a very anxious me that spent all day yesterday changing into different tops, changing my lipstick colour and sucking my (now considerably reduced) stomach in in anticipation of his arrival.

And he is still lovely, and I still have a little "jump" when I see him, even though I am extraordinarily happily married and so is he. I am glad that he's my friend, I've really missed seeing him, she is lovely too. This is the sad part, she has cysitic fibrosis, and has to have loads of treatment and medication, her sister died of it not long before thier marriage. I learned more about her condition last night than I have ever done before, but still couldn't (obviously) say well, what about you, is your condition as bad as your sisters or is it manageable? i.e., is my friend going to be a young widower any time soon? I gathered that there won't be any children from thier marriage as her system couldn't take it, which I find sad as they would both be great parents. I didn't sleep well last night, when in between bouts of dozing all I could think about was the things that they have to face and what might lie ahead of them. And felt bad for still thinking that he was gorgeous after all these years...

Oh my God

My blog is known to other humans (obviously, humans who I know and love, Hi Poppy and Sal!!) and also to my husband, who as reading Robin's e-mail to me, and said "you have a blog? We're keeping secrets from each other now?" I don't know why I didn't tell him, I just feel a bit shy about it. Poppy has apparantly linked me to her site so I may have readers I don't even know. Hi if you're a stranger!

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

In other momentous news

The sex camel is dead. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the 14 month desert is over.

It would be crass and ungrateful to compare condom sex with non-condom sex.

Shop till you drop!

Here is a list of all the things I have bought in the last two days:
1 pair of Etam jeans - size 16
1 pair of DP jeans - size 16
1 pair Next cropped jeans
1 coral coloured lace trimmed v-necked top - size 16
1 white v-necked top - size 16
1 pink linen skirt
1 mint green ruched sweetheart neck top
1 chocolate ruched sweetheart neck top
1 bright orange/coral v necked top H and M size L
1 mint green long sleeved top H and M size L
1 black top with a sweetheart neck H and M size L
1 pink chiffon skirt with a darker pink pattern
1 beige chiffon skirt with a coral flowery pattern
3 pairs of pink lace knickers
2 pairs of natural fishnet tights
3 tubes of conditioner
1 compact of face powder
1 deodorant
1 tube frizz ease hair serum
pack cotton wool
bottle shower gel
pot moisturiser
2 tubes hair gel
Comic Relief Little Britain DVD

Gosh that's a lot for two days, but all the clothing was funded by my e-bay sales and none of it was especially expensive

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Home alone

Wasn't able to get on line for 24 hours and felt bereft a bit - I think that that is a bit wierd...

Mike in London with Liz this weekend so Alfie and I have been at home together - I have really enjoyed it, we went to Gail's yesterday morning and then the four of us went to McD's for lunch - I had a salad and fries - and then I took him to the pool, we stayed for an hour, then we came home. I watched Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood on DVD and had lamb chops mushrooms and rocket - then completely forgot it was Lent and had 2 curly wurlies - ooops! No wine at all, went to bed to read at 10.15, slept till 7. Today Alfie and I have chilled - papers, playing, television, cleaning etc, and just had a really nice time. It's nice to have him on my own, and it's nice to know that all will be ok over the Summer holidays when we are together all the time.

It was good to see Gail yesterday, as I haven't seen much of her since Xmas - basically because I didn't want to spill the beans about Viv's baby, and it was hard yesterday too.

I was a bit poorly on Friday night, and bit of d and v, luckily, only a small bout. Anyway had a nother sneaky weigh on Sat am, and it was showing a sts for the week before, so I'm taking that one as my correct weigh for this week. I am absolutely determined to have a good week and so far so good, stayed in points and scoffed loads of fruit/veg and water. I really could do with a 3lb loss this week, that's what I'm really hoping for, as I have only lost half a stone since my birthday, almost 3 months ago. Admittedly, there was Christmas and a holiday in that three months, but overall it's not a great loss. I have to look at it as a gradual and incremental loss, like the major thing is that I have not seen a reading of 15 st on the scales even at night for ages, well, i would have killed for that in November! I presume that the slower it comes off the slower it will go back on again, and really, when I look back on the last 8 months, I haven't really deprived myself or killed myself in the gym, it's been relatively easy. So, by June, it would be ideal if I were almost in the 12s - a real achievement for one year, and then in the 11s for my 34th birthday would be fabulous.

A bit disappointed in my e-bay sales - only on £90 with nine hours to go, I don't know how much further they will go for a Sunday night, perhaps I didn't think it through enough or market them sufficiently. At least things will be cleared out of the wardrobe anyway, I suppose.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Not too bad

Only 1lb, so I'm treating that as an OK result. I'm back on the band waggon now, although I did have one of Louise's cakes at break - 6 points, I will claim one back each day between now and Friday. Had a reasonable Chinese tonight, shared ribs with Mike (2.5) and then had king prawn and pineapple (4) with noodles (2.5). Wine should be about 5.5. 14.5 altogether, had 10.5 today, so 25 points today, I can get that back later in the week.

Half term thank the Good Lord, I am ready for it!

Thursday, February 10, 2005

A wholly self-gratifying post

I am absolutely positive that I am going to have put on weight tomorrow. This is a bad thing because:
a) it's a bad thing
b) it will be the first time that I have put on weight two weeks on the run since I started in June 2004
c) I have been pants this week

So, in an an effort not to make this a slippery slope, I am going to list all the reasons that it is important that I NEVER go back to the weight that I was.

1. There is no better feeling in the world that going into any shop and being able to choose what to wear. In a size 16.

2. I like looking at photos of myself

3. I am so much healthier than I was - I owe it to my son to stay that way

4. I actually enjoy eating the way that I do now

5. I love everyone's reaction to how I look now

6. I have worked really hard and I cannot waste it

7. I have sold all my fat clothes and can't afford to replace my whole wardrobe again

8. I feel like a normal person, not like everyone is looking at me

9. I (not very nicely) really like not being the fattest person in the situations I am in eg, work, shops, restaurants etc


Okay I think that this is enough now. I've convinced myself.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

My blog is SOOOOOOOOOO dull

I have been reading other blogs such as The Chubby Girl Brigade, Poppymom and Vivalaskara, and have relised what an incredibly boring life I have. Although, equally, I am not a neurotic American either... (apologies to anyone who is American. Not that anyone actually READS this blog. How do you get to be known? Although if I was known I would probably be on a "Cyber-space most boring blog list)

Feeling a bit crap today, not sure if there are loads of undercurrents at work or if I am imagining it. Then, Mike tells me that he went to see the doctor this afternoon because he had a lump in his goddamned testicle - I knew that he had been being funny this weekend but I didn't know why, I thought that he was mad with me because I had been so hungover on Saturday. Turns out that he has a vareocele (varicose vein) there and there is no problem. I cannot imagine what could have been.

I think I might go to bed.

And I haven't even vaguely made this blog any more entertaining.

Monday, February 07, 2005

Why isn't it this time next week?

So that I am off school?? I am knackered, I stayed up late so that I could put a load of clothes on ebay, and watch 100 top videos on channel four. (Why did Thriller win??) I just don't have a great deal of enthusiasm for anything except bed.

I am investigating other blogs at the moment, how can I make mine all fab and customised?

Sunday, February 06, 2005

And I was right

As I predicted the below occured, which resulted in Friday night being wierd and somewhat drunken night, I had to stay in bed until 2.30 yesterday. I do feel that the hangover was a little disproportionate to the consumption of alcohol, I think the rundowness of myself (see the coldsore, which is still in absolute full sail) had a major contrubition to make. It was nice in some ways to be in a nice warm cocoon of bed and sleep and doze, but I really did feel terrible at about 10am including vomiting bile. Nice

Went to Chris and Sarah's for dinner last night, Suzanne and Mark were there. Mark is an amazingly attractive man, I literally gasped when he was introduced to me. Suzanne is pregnant - I am not surprised I would be too, I would be riding him morning noon and night. Mind you, I would ride Alex Ferguson if he asked me at the moment, the sex drought continues chez nous. I think I have forgotten how to do it.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Ho Hum

I have a massive coldsore, which is lovely.

I think the shit is going to hit the fan on Friday at school as it is the acting deputy head interview - Jane (my boss) and Clare (head of KS2) are both going for it and I think that Clare will get it. Which is fine as she is great and works really hard, but Jane has done it before and is more experienced as a teacher - Clare is only 25, which is an amazing acheivement for her. I just think that there will be massive repercussions which makes me even gladder tht I have taken the decision to listen and watch and not join in with bitching or take sides. Plus it is the PTA social on Friday night that more or less everyone is going to - I must try to persuade Jane to go if she doesn't get it.