Sunday, August 21, 2005

God gave a Present to Me

Four years ago, you came into my life (at long last!) and I fell in love with you. You looked at me in a very serious way, and I knew that I already knew you and who you were.
You have brought joy, happiness, much laughter, purpose, perspective and some tough times, and for that I am grateful.
You are the funniest, cleverest, most loving person I have ever known, and I am so proud and happy to be your Mummy. I love you so much that sometimes I can hardly bear to think about it.
I love that you're growing up, because your new development phases are so much fun - but mourn the ones that have passed, and wish that my memory held even more.
In the words of your current favourite tune - "You're Beautiful".
I want so much for you - but most of all I want you to be happy, secure and kind, just like you are now.
Never forget who you are, Little Star.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Full time mummy

Well, school has finally finished and I am on my holidays, Needless to say the weather has been pants. Had a nice start to the holidays; M took the day off and we spent the day together shopping and lunching. it was A's last day at nursery, so our last day with 8-6 childcare! Then we went ot my Mum's and A stayed there for a couple of days. As a surprise, Mike had arranged to take me to the Will Young Tatton Picnic Concert. We met up with some friends of mine and had a lovely time.

From Monday it's gone a bit downhill - we had to go and say goodbye to our friends who are moving down South.

Yesterday was the first "proper" day of the holidays - just me and A together, and I have to say, it was pretty hard work. We had a job to do, which was to sort out all the toys, as it is his birthday coming up, and we did that quite quickly, so we played a few games and watched a little TV. Then we did some painting/craft, but by the end of that we were really beginning to get grumpy with each other - so I took him to the park for an hour, which helped. I am not yet in Mum mode, I have forgotten what it is like to entertain a child all day with no support - at weekends there is always the two of us and we always have things to do, at the moment all my friends are on thier holidays, so we don't have anyone to go and play with, it will be better next week as Mike is on holiday and we have a few plans, and then after that all my mates are back.

To cap it all, Mike has come down with a dreadful tummy bug and has been up all night puking and the other - and my God is he loud when he does it!!! So now I have him off sick today as well; he doens't need looking after, but it IS an extra thing to deal with!!

I really want to enjoy this time with Alfie as I will never get it again, but yesterday knocked my confidence a bit in terms of my parenting skills.