Tuesday, February 22, 2005

A mish mash of things

I feel unbelieveably mardy today - there's no real reason to, I just do. I got in bed last night and BAWLED reading the opening chapter of Elizabeth Jane Howard's Confusion which I have read 84,000 times. This morning I got my period and all became clear.

I then proceeded to tuck into the most yucky but yummy chocolate cake for Trish's birthday at work, thus undoing the good work of a four point swim and a four point underspend of yesterday. Damn me and my menstrual cycle!!!!

SOOOOOO wanted a pizza for tea - a big cheese drenched delight with garlic bread and chips. I didn't have it but had beef burritos instead which was a good thing to do. Still wanted pizza though.

Just had a phone call from Jo, a girl from my mum's group/book group about a get together this Friday night. I like her she's dead nice - she had a baby born too early last year, and he really tragically died, and I know that I have been rubbish since then - because I am terrified to say the wrong thing to her, I end up bumbling or saying irrelevant things, or stopping myself from saying things. Like tonight, she was asking about another one of our friends, and I said, oh, she's fine, I think it's okay to say... about to say she's pregnant, and then stopped and changed it to ...living with her new man. Why? Why did I do that? As if Jo is not going to find out soon enough, and might easily remember that I had said a cryptic messy thing to her on the phone? Because we are not close, I decided to folloow her lead and if she wanted to talk about it with her then I would, but if not I would treat her like normal, and I think it might have been a mistake.
Then again, hello Zoe, you are not the centre of everyon's universe, and Jo probably doesn't give a chuff about what I think.

1 comment:

Sally said...

It's a tricky one....I had coffee today with one of the Mums I met on babycentre who has just lost her baby and I had no idea what to say...

And I'm so with you on the pizza cravings. All I want are Papa John's garlic cheese sticks and a stuffed crust cheesy pizza.

Why isn't cheese free points? THe only thing I keep stuffing myself with is butternut chips but I too still want a pizza.