Friday, March 18, 2005

Food and its complexities

Anyone seen those M and S food adverts? It’s just gastronomic pornography, with 0898 type voices describing fantastic food including the most divine looking chocolate pudding oozing melted chocolate out of the middle and decorated with thick cream. I saw it and I knew that I haven’t really changed…I could eat all of that twice and it probably not touch the sides. I’ve not changed one bit, and the 5 stone heavier girl is still there somewhere and she might come back and I can hardly bear the thought.

I worry. I worry that I can feel that I might go back to the 17 year old me with those terrible hang ups and methods of dealing with weight gain. I’ve worked so hard the last 15 years to enjoy being me and not to get hung up about stuff, be comfortable in my own skin and in a bizarre way, achieving what I have done is making me feel almost less confident in my body. Sometimes I feel like I look worse.


Sally said...

YES!!! Those bloody adverts. They are food porn. I actually went out today and bought the roast potatoes - 7 points for half a pack - fuck's Easter....but they are bad and have helped in my major fall off the WW wagon this weekend....

Sally said...

sorry - meant to also comment on're amazing. You were amazing 5 stone heavier. But I know EXACTLY what you mean having been there and put back on again (well Oscar helped). I hate that you feel less confident. I think you're amazing. And when I see you in June I will remind you of that on an hourly basis. You COULD eat that pudding twice over. But you haven't, have you. And even if you did, you'd just pick up where you left off and keep going with the weightloss. I'm having a weekend off. But I won't beat myself up, I'll just be back on the points on Monday.

Be proud of yourself babe. You've done such an amazing thing for yourself, your health and your son. And you look AMAZING

Sal x

Sally said... many times did I just write Amazing????