Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Feminism rules ok?

So today I am having my first ever day off teaching to take care of a sick child. Believe it or not, A has only had one day off sick since I began teaching, and Mike took the day off then. So far, since he started nursery, Ted has had conjunctivitis and *supposed* diarrhea (he didn't) and Mike has taken a day to take care of him. He's also been called to pick him up early once for another bout of conjunctivitis that he got laughed out of the doctor's surgery for as it was a bit of mucus in the corner of his eye *sigh*. So anyway, today he is off because he keeps being a bit sick when he eats - I've had him at the doctors (I should get a season ticket) and there isn't anything wrong with him, he's perfectly okay, playing and happy. But they made me feel like a criminal yesterday when I went to pick him up, so I don't really have any choice. And then I feel bad because I feel like I'm putting work before my baby - and I'm not. If he was really sick, then I wouldn't think twice.

Having said that, now I'm off, I've had a really nice day with T - got stuff done at home, played with him (I've just been giving him weetabix, there's been a couple of mouthfuls of sick but nothing spectacular) tidied both the boys bedrooms, caught up with my V+ watching - it's been nice.

On Saturday I wrote myself a big pros and cons list for work and not working - I have to say that my list for cons of working was longer - but then it's not an exact science as the weighting for each reason isn't the same. Mike and I talked about it this morning in bed, we both agreed that domestically life would be easier if I were at home. And today reminds me that it would be. It's a tough decision to take - I want there to be some kind of sign for what is the right thing to do. I was saying to Mike this morning, I know what will happen; I'll resign, and then whilst I'm working my notice, T will never get sick, I will love being at work, the weather will improve, my social life will pick up, my weight will go down by a stone... and I'll think I've made the wrong choices!!

It's the everlasting quandry for women - it's all my friends are talking about whenever we get together, the balance between home life and work life. It's like feminism shot us in the foot, we're now allowed to do everything- work hard all day, come home and run a house, manage the kids and feel guilty about everything, oh and at the same time, look fabulous, cook from scratch, not drink too much and read worthy books. I don't think I check any of those boxes.

In other, more frivolous news; I am delighted to announce that I fit back into three pairs of trousers that I haven't for a year. There are still another six or seven pairs in the wardrobe however.

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