Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Girl on Film

Back from our week in Devon - which was a lovely holiday. We took the boys out for three days, and had a nice time, although two four year olds are a handful, especially when they are sharing a bedroom and not getting enough sleep... glad I didn't have twins! It's a strange experience spending a whole week at someone's house, you're not really a guest, more a housemate, and being me, I was very anxious not to be a burden - cue me getting up every morning with the boys, constantly stacking and unstacking the dishwasher and tidying up, and then taking the boys out. Cue me beginning to feel somewhat resentful. I don't help myself. I also became very frustrated by others' disorganisation - we spent most of Saturday driving to two beaches miles away and then wondering why we couldn't find a parking space in an extraordinarily busy Devon town. I am the kind of person who is at IKEA/Trafford Centre as it opens to avoid the crowds and get a good speck. I think there's some hormonal issues too (I will NOT say PMT as I am clinging on to hope this month) It's so beautiful down there, Mike and I are considering a move - at least we were last week, but now we're home I'm not so sure, although I know he still is. A week somewhere gorgeous is idyllic, but we really need to think with our heads and not our hearts - I certainly don't want to be worse off financially, and I would like to go part time at some point in the next few years. We're going to have a night out with a big pad and pen and try to thrash it out.

The other thing that happened last week was that our friend C video'd us getting off a little ferry. It is years since I saw myself on film, and despite the five stone off (more like four at the moment) it's not a pretty sight. I looked like a dumpy housewife. It was a real shock, as my slf image has been good recently, and I imagine myself as quite svelte in a curvy way these days - clearly this is not the case, although the extra baggage I am carrying right now won't help. It was rather depressing to say the least. I also have buck teeth and a big jaw. And very sturdy limbs. However, the thought of it is helping to keep me on the straight and narrow in terms of shedding the crept on stone at the moment. I don't know how I am doing as I was not at home to weigh last week. I tried very very hard, despite being on holiday. A couple of ice creams and a plate of chips did sneak in. Back home and on the waggon now, so fingers crossed.

Been in school yesterday and today. My new colleague is young and enthusiastic, and although initially I felt very threatened by this, I overcame that, and I am embracing her enthusiasm and ideas and now feel very keen and reinvigorated too. She's going to be very good for me, as I think I was in danger of becoming a little stale. Last year wasn't the greatest for me at work, mostly because of worrying about A, but things are settled now, so i have great expectations for next year. I would like today to be the last I am in school for a while though, I have been in every day that I have been at home - only when on holiday have I not been in.


Moxie said...

Fingers crossed that it is your month this month darlin!

And, for what it is worth, I remember you being a very sexy beautiful lady - not at all like the person you describe in this entry, you're a fox love!


Sally said...

I agree with Mox - I think your hormones are playing with your eyesight. You were a fox BEFORE you lost all that weight - so you're 4, nearly 5 times as foxy now. you do NOT have buck teeth. You have a beautiful smile. You're gorgeous - and you will be even more so if you feel it inside. So I will try and remind you on a regular basis. YOU ARE BEYOOOOOTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!

Sal xxx

Dixie said...

Zoe, I know you're a beauty! Every inch inside and out is gorgeous!