It's been a helluva week. None of Monday's worries came true, but it was good to write them down. I'm blooody tired though. My sis in law is here, and I just collapsed into a Chinese take away and wine last night, whilst introducing her to the joys of Just The Two Of Us.
I keep dreaming that we will have no DJ for the party, although I do have a lead on one, whom I will telephone this afternoon- fingers crossed that he wants the gig.
This week is our actual ten year wedding anniversary, and I haven't had much time to reflect on that so far. I can't really remember what it felt like to be on the verge of something as important as that. I know that I was very tied up in work, and only took a day or two off prior to the wedding, and a week or so afterwards. In lots of ways, we were a bit mad getting married, because compared to where we are now, we didn't really have a strong enough relationship, I don't think. Although, perhaps being married has given us the strength that we had, because we both believe in marriage and love, then it's been helpful to be married during the difficult times, given us an extra reason to work things through.
Both Mike and I had divorced parents, mine in particular had a crap marriage, and we were both determined that that wouldn't happen to us. My Mum was always very surprised that both my sister and I married young ( I was 24, she was 23) after what she had gone through, but I think that we both wanted the stability that we had lacked. Sadly, my sister is one of the statistics, and her first marriage ended after three years. I'm trying to work out what it is about Mike and I that has held us together (14 years in all).
One reason is that we are very good friends. We had a bit of a debate amongst the Stonecutters as to whether or not your partner could be your best friend, and I maintain that for us, that is the case. It's a different kind of friend, but the best all the same. And he can be quite gay, which really helps, he likes shopping and will watch crap telly with me (like Just the Two of Us) even when he says he doesn't. Although not up to my own standards, he does pull his weight pretty well around the house, and with Alfie, which is good. He's a great Dad, but doesn't think that he is, which is a good combination, in fact, I do believe that contrary to most evidence, having a child really has cemented our relationship and made it stronger; we simply did not experience the relationship lows and traumas and bickering that we expected to, we absolutely delighted in this new person, and becoming a three solidified us, there wasn't any jealousy or arguing really (not to say that there hasn't been ever, but certainly not in the early days).
We're pretty good at compromise and debate and discussion, which means that it's rare that things get unsaid, and once they're aired, they have to be resolved. In lots of ways we are opposite, and that's good, because I can get things sorted that wouldn't get sorted and would become an issue were he with someone similar, and vice versa.
I simply cannot imagine my life without him - whenever things have been tough and I've thought about leaving him, it is simply insupportable: I have to have him in my life. And I know he feels the same, I don't think I have EVER doubted that he loves me. And I need that.
Although you don't read this, because I won't tell you where it is, I love you Mike, and I'm glad that you're my husband, my lobster and my bun. Here's to the next ten.