Tuesday, May 29, 2007

There's a light at the end of the tunnel

I am booked for an elective C-section on Friday am, so I will be having a June baby Of course, nature might take its course before then, but there aren't any signs of that happening, so... I feel okay about the decision. Really, it's that, or wait until next Wednesday and have the only form of induction they are prepared to offer someone who's had a previous C-section, which is to see if they can break the waters. Even then, they'll only give you so long to deliver, and want to see "serious" progression (ie, 1hr=1cm). All of that considered, they did not pressure us in any way, and it was very much our decision. Much as I want to continue my aspiring lentil-weavering, I have the experience of last time affecting my perception, and I really think I could not bear to go through all that again for the same conclusion as I can have relatively straightforwardly, and nearly a week earlier. I don't regret my decision to wait until now (I will be 41+2 on Friday by my dates) because I think it means I've given my baby every chance to be as strong as possible, and also to come of its own accord. I think I may have to accept that I am good at growing big healthy babies (this one is apparantley "not small", but not as big as 10lb ds), but not really built for delivering them. It's quite hard as a woman to reconcile myself to that, because it feels like an unfullfilled biological destiny (and I know that it doens't matter etc, and I would be the first person telling someone else that)but once I've got ds2/dd in my arms it will cease to be of any importance.

Sorry if you've just ploughed through all that, I just thought I would save myself £50 with a therapist!


Robin said...

I'm so glad your sweet baby's almost here. I understand and empathize wih those "less than a woman" feelings. Obviously, you know they go away but they're still real and I'm sorry you're dealing with them.

Tons of love to you, M., A., and the new little one. I'll be thinking of you all week.

Dixie said...

I'm so excited! I'll be thinking of you all week and I hope everything goes smoother than you ever dreamed possible.

Katya said...

I'm so glad for you having a due date and everything. Since I didn't have a C section, I don't understand the "less than a woman" feelings but I sympathize with you over them.xqxtv

Moxie said...

Just stopped by to see how you were doing oh glorious preggers lady and see that I am just in time to wish you well for Friday and to send some extra special Moxificated ELV's to try and start things off before then.

As for the 'less than a woman' feelings I can only send you really big hugs. I have them too for different reasons (the baby came out of the door rather than the sun roof but my milk has all but vanished in the process of fixing Roxie's reflux) and they suck, so hugs hugs hugs.

And woman to woman, being induced is gnarly and as for having your waters broken with a crochet hook... it wasn't my favorite moment in my life :o)

All the love in the world - so very excited for you beautiful lady!

Moxie, Roxie and the rest of the gang