Friday, February 08, 2008

I think I might be hitting a wall. There's nothing huge, but I'm at a bit of a place where I feel excessively tired, somewhat PMT-y, a bit cross with my friends and family because I feel a bit unsupported... and none of it is really very justified. I've been here before, about 8 months after Alfie was born. Bingo.

There's something about going back to work and all that that entails. In actual fact, it's been okay - I like being myself for a while, Ted is happy at nursery (when he's not picking up a bug) I'm popular at work and good at my job - it's the whole just not feeling like I'm doing anything properly - being a mum, a teacher, a friend... and I am a dreadful wife. It's like that Kirsty MaColl song: "I've been an awful woman all my life/A dreadful daughter and a hopeless wife" - I KNOW that I'm not an awful woman - I just FEEL like one.

1 comment:

Miss Beck said...

Recognition is the first step, but I suspect you already know that.

I really hope you get on top of those feelings as soon as you can. They aren't nice are they?