Quite frankly...

I have been twice!

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 20:47:00 +0000

Quite pleased with myself really - done the programme that the twelve year old gave me - I am not a big fan of the cross trainer, but did five minutes the first time, and 7.5 minutes this morning - Cheryl Cole's Three Words helped me get through it! Rowing is ok, and I quite like the weights and am, of course, still swimming. I'm pretty sure that I've not lost any weight though, but I feel better and that's important.

Christmas Eve is okay here - Gail and Bob couldn't stay as long as usual (quote from Bob: "I've never been in this house so long and been sober") and all was fine until Ted decided to puke. He's fine otherwise but God only knows how this will pan out - so far he has been in bed for three hours and all's well - bit of a dampner on C Eve though.

funny moment - Alfie just coming downstairs when Ted#s toolbench was still being constructed - cue hasty shoving over of sheet and mad dash for the door by us!

Happy Christmas!

Went to the gym

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 17:58:00 +0000

So, I've been swimming three times a week since I joined the gym, today I went for my gym induction - I have not been looking forward to it. But, I mustered my courage, and pretended I was confident - and then, I was!

The instructor was approximately 12 years old (Steve) but he was really okay, he laughed at my jokes and I was completely honest with him - told him about my Fabulous at Forty plan, and that there were 98 weeks to go, explained that I hate running and about going swimming, and that I need some fast results on my tummy in particular to keep me motivated, and that I will be useless at remembering how to use the equipment. He was fab! He has given me a programme that will take about half an hour so that I can swim for half an hour afterwards. It's cross training, rowing, weights. It'll be okay I think, and it wasn't intimidating at all, lots of (mainly men) middle aged types, none in lycra. Had a swim afterwards and generally feel good.

Need a gym playlist on the iPod...

99 weeks to go

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 10:18:00 +0000

Only swum once this week so far due to period and Mike being away - I am going on Saturday though, and also Sunday. Sunday I have my gym orientation also, so that will help.

Don't seem to have actually lost any weight, although feel, and I am told, look slimmer, so that is good. I've always thought I wouldn't care if I was 25 stone if I was a size 14. Not that I am 25 stone, but you know what I mean.

Have felt very stressed for some of this week; that old "woman doing too much" thing. I have bought every present, written every card, planned every meal... plus worked, been a mummy etc.

Today is the last day of school thank God, so we will have 2 and a half weeks off - Mike is off too, and Ted won't be going to nursery. We've loads planned, so hopefully it will be good fun. I'm really looking forward to Christmas, the boys have great presents, and we have tons planned - wonder what the long range weather forecast is..?

I'm proud of myself for successfully getting through my first term in my new job. When I think how miserable I was last year, it makes me realise how far I've come. Next week, I must look back on last years' resolutions, and make some for this year.

100 weeks to go (well tomorrow anyway)

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:11:00 +0000

Kept up the swimming - now been five times and due to go this evening. Not made the gym appointment yet, but I will. I will. I will...

Feel fabulous, the hunger has reduced somewhat although I'm still not "dieting".

Ted is off sick today, he had a temp last night when I picked him up, and he was warm this morning although all gone with one dose of calpol, he is coughing in a bronchilitis kind of way - he's had it before. Not much going on at work, both my Wednesday schools have play performanced this afternoon, so was actually going to have a paid afternoon off and finish Christmas shopping, but no chance of that now! Never mind, nearly all done now, need a couple of hours stocking filler time and then it will be finished. Even wrapped some, and part way through Christmas cards!

Took the opportunity to do some mopping/dusting today and also make cranberry sauce which has made the house smell very Christmassy. Tree on Saturday, can't wait!

Week one... 101 weeks to go

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 20:34:00 +0000

Well

I've been swimming three times - 25 mins, 30 mins and 25 mins non stop
I've had a five day wine hiatus - nothing Saturday - Thursday
Handcream has been erratic
Waxed and appointment in a fortnight
Bought no clothes (not THAT great an achievement!)

Things I hadn't expected:
I am starving ALL the time - even though I am not dieting per se - the exercise is making me really hungry!
I am sleeping fantastically
I am in a much better mood - not that I was moody before but I am def calmer

Things I haven't done yet
Made gym appointment - but I will

In other news

Alfie has had a BRILLIANT parents' night. He is working at the level of the average Year 6 pupil in Writing (4b), has a reading age of 13+ and a level of 5 (high level year 6 pupil) and a standardised score or 114 in his maths - Grammar school level. So basicially we need to be thinking 11+ and grammar school for Year 7. Which is WOW! I do think he's very bright myself, but then I am his Mum and exceptionally biased. His teacher said he is a "gifted writer" and I agree - he really is. The really good thing is that he has absolutely no idea how clever he is.

So far so good

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 19:31:00 +0000

OK, been swimming tonight - first time, as Friday was a non starter due to being held up at the beauticians. So, had my nails done, waxed, re-appointment in a fortnight, been to gym.

I aimed for twenty minutes and I could have a stop if I needed it. I did 25 minutes and didn't stop - I was puffed and my heart was beating quickly when I was done. And - I didn't feel intimidated or embarrassed. that was a big thing for me because I have always felt that way before - but it's just a place - no big deal. The one thing I didn't do which I had planned to was to make an appointment for a gym orientation - I wasn't keen on the man on the desk when I came in, so didn't want to ask him about it. I have given myself till Wednesday to do that.

So, it's all good. Too much wine at Dad's birthday party though. Bad Zoe.

I'm also thinking that the year I am forty I might audition for the X factor - I won't even get to the judges stage but I think it would be an interesting experience...

Fab and foxy at forty!

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 14:03:00 +0000

I can't believe that it's still here! And I am still here!

I have decided to relaunch this blog - with a sort of new theme - fab and foxy at forty!

In two years time I will be forty, not that old these days, but certainly enough to make me think particularly as I was very much a part of my mum's fortieth celebrations (I was 18 at the time).

It's made me think about my life. I've got the children I always wanted, and there aren't going to be any more, because Mike's had the snip. I'm in a house I love in an area I like. I have a new kitchen, bathroom and windows. I have got away from a job that was destroying my soul and a woman who was bullying and quite frankly, evil. I have a new job that is satisfying and a good balance between life and work. I earn a good salary. My kids are okay - sure I have my worries about them, but my worries are little ones. I could not love them more. Mike and I are in a good place, probably better than we've been for years, despite a huge row a couple of weeks ago - maybe even because of that.

I have a lot to be grateful for.

I want to get healthy now. I drink too much wine (four days a week, 1/2 to a full bottle) and I eat lots, I love food! It's usually good stuff, home made dinners and things, but still it's a lot. I never exercise - unless you count yomping around with a pram - I really don't like any of it.

So - I have some resolutions. Not New Years ones, earlier than that. There are 102 weeks until my 40th.

I have joined the gym - I am going to go three times a week, swimming initially - on a Wednesday between 5-6pm as that's when Alfie is at lacrosse, on a Sunday lunctime when Ted is in bed, and one evening a week, either Friday or a Tuesday. It's open until 10pm.

I will make an appointment during December to have a gym programme developed - and make a couple of the sessions a week gym sessions. I will be clear with the gym person, that I want especially to work on my tummy area, as that is the place I dislike most.

Handcream. Daily.

I currently have my eyebrows and upper lip waxed every three weeks. The last two times, I have had a nail tidy - I hate my nails they're very weak and ugly. So I've decided to have my waxing and nail tidy fortnightly. Three weeks is too long a time to wait to defuzz. So I'm going to increase that.

I have lots of lovely clothes, but I tend to not wear some of them because they're "best" or "too overdressed" - well I am going to wear more of them, more often - otherwise what's the point in having them? This means I am not going to buy anything new until March 2010 - I won't need anything.

I need a haircut - and a decent hairdresser. That can wait till the New Year I think; but I am not facing forty with straggly hair that I have to put up all the time.

Less wine - I need to drink water with it because sometimes I drink fast because I'm thirsty.

More fruit and veg: I eat a lot anyway, but I should eat more.

Writing this down I sound really self-centred and me, me, me - it isn't my motivation. The main issue is getting fitter, I want to see my kids grow up and make sure that I'm healthy to do it. The extra little bits are to help me keep my motivation up.

The blog, I hope, will be a record of this - what I've done and when ( I weighed myself this morning - it wasn't quite as bad as it could have been). I also want to maintain it as a record of our family life; reading back through has made me smile and reminisce - it's nice to remember, even when it's something that's bad.

So if you once read me, maybe come and read again - support me, listen to my ramblings

This week's target: By next Friday to have been for a swim three times. I'm going tonight - after my appointment at the salon for wax and nails...

So so rubbish at blogging

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 17:57:00 +0000

yadda yadda yadda - said it all before.

But... this is a record of the life I am leading right now - and even the little I blog is good for me to read back on. I read the pregnancy stuff last week and it was lovely!

I ahve however made a bit of a decision not to use the internet as much as I did - Beckie wrote a great post about packing in using it so much and prioritising life things, and she is (as usual) very right. But I do want to keep the blog up, it's a document of my life - and it's lasted longer than any paper diary I have ever kept!

Things are.. busy, to say the least. Take tonight for example. Picked up the boys, but before I went for T, put a toad in the hole into the oven. Never made it beofre, and usually I never put something in the oven and leave the house, but I was going to be out for twenty mins tops, and it took 30 to cook. No problem! So at nursery discussing Ted's bad mood (teeth, tiredness, cold) - suddenly realised we had a long standing dentist appointment at 5.15. Current time? 5pm. Oven on. £30 fine if we don't go to dentist.

So, we had to go to the dentist via our house for me to run in and switch off the oven, which is a HUGE no-no for yorkshire pudding, dash to dentist. No one had brushed their teeth and A was, for want of a better description, quite grubby. Had to apologise to the dentist who was really nice about it. Three sets of teeth checked and back to the house, heat up the oven again, deal with wingy baby, get A changed for Beavers. He is going through a real phase of being a Johnny head in the air, and taking hours to do anything, answering back... *sigh*. Both boys did at least scoff a huge plate of tea (abeit rather flat yorkshire) and T had a banana. T whinged all the way through tea. Then I had to get T ready for bed, and administer some precautionary inhaler, as well as calpol. Then we had to wait for A's lift, and then get T milked up and in bed. Oh, and did I mention that dh is in Reading? And that during this lovely evening, I had dirty hair, itchy excema and knickers constantly falling down? And that I had also been to Asda and corrected a load of work as well?

A Book blog

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 19:12:00 +0000

What you do is, look at the list below, and then:
bold the ones you’ve read;
[bracket] the ones you love
italicise the ones you intend to read.

1 [Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen]
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 [Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte]
4 [Harry Potter series - JK Rowling]
5 [To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee]
6 The Bible - lots of it, but not all, so I've part bolded
7 [Wuthering Heights] - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 [Little Women - Louisa M Alcott]
12 [Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy]
13 Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (I’ve read the bulk of them)
15 [Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier]
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks - I really struggled with this one, and could not finish it
18 [Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger] (I really loved Franny and Zooey, and also Raise High the Roof Beams Carpenters)
19 [The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger]
20 [Middlemarch - George Eliot]
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens - my second favourite Dickens after Our Mutual Friend
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 [Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll]
30 [The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame - I loved the film as well, the David Jason/Michael Hordern one]
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 [Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis]
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 [Persuasion - Jane Austen]
36 [The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis]
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini- this is in the pile by the bed to be read - Loved a Thousand Splendid Suns
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres - no no no NO!!!
39 [Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden]
40 [Winnie-the-Pooh - AA Milne]
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan - I like the idea of his books, but never quite get the thought to read them
51
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 [The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon]
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 [The Secret History - Donna Tartt]
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy I haven't bracketed this, but I was really moved by it, loved isn't the right word
68 [Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding]
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby-Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 [The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett]
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce - oh dear God...
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 [Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome]
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - A. S. Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 [The Color Purple - Alice Walker]
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 [The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton]
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 [Hamlet - William Shakespeare]
99 [Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl]
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 13:12:00 +0000

I am just so crap. I know no one reads it anyway, but this isn't for anyone else, it's for me in years to come.

It's so long since I wrote that we're now three weeks into the holidays. We've been to Devon for a week and the boys and I have just come back from a little break in Wales with my friend G and her boys in a caravan on a lovely site - spoiled only by torrential, and I mean torrential rain - it's in the mountains which made it worse. I feel great taht I've done this - taken the two of them away, done swimming and stuff, all alone - G and I are like Thelma and Louise (just without Brad Pitt and the driving off a cliff at the end). G and I have been friends since the first day at University, her boys are 3 and 5. It's been so great to go away with her, it's been years since we spent such a concentrated time in each others company, and it was so... easy. We have lots in common, and we are completely honest with each other - always have been. And that is so good.

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 13:31:00 +0000

Ugh. Haven't had time to blog - well, technically I have but have been doing other things or not able to summon up the energy to type, merely to read. It's been so busy, it's report time at school, my class had their holy communions, I have ahd all sorts of shit to deal with at school which I am not at liberty to print out in this blog, just in case, as stressful as working at my school is, it still keeps me in childcare and shoes. My eyes are all scabbed up again, after a discussion with my mother, I suspect I may be allergic to lanolin. She is, and she developed it in the summer of 1986 when she was *gasp* ...nearly 37. And I am *double gasp*...nearly 37. How wierd is that? I have googled the item I suspect is causing the scabbiness, and ker-ching - it contains lanolin. Been to the pharmacist today, who has given me piriton and suggested daktacort. She initally suggested E45 cream, but I bought that yesterday, and whilst it moisturised the very dry area, made the itching and redness worse. And what is E45 full of? You guessed correctly, dear reader - lanolin.

I am going out with my friend tonight, so God help anyone in the fancy schmancy restaurant who has to look at my beautiful eyes! If nothing else, my social life has taken off recently, and I have lots lined up for the next few weeks, necessitating some creative accounting and regular fake tanning. Meals with friends, dinners out - lots to do, which is really nice. On Tuesday I can turn the calendar to the page that has "end of term" written on it, which is fantastic.

M went to Reading yesterday at some god forsaken time 3.55am. I was vaguely aware of him leaving, so when there was a huge crash downstairs and a rattling of the front door at 4.30am, I shot out of bed like a bat out of hell, and (bravely, but most likely because of still being fast asleep) pelted downstairs to investigate. Nothing. Silence. Had the children fallen out of bed? No sound. Then, I heard a car starting outside so rushed to the window. M leaving? How did that happen???

Turns out he had got about 15 miles and had to turn back as he had forgotten a vital piece of large equipment - which he then dropped at the front door, hence my rude awakening. Needless to say, I could not get back to sleep at all, ended up getting up and watching TV till 6.30 and then going back to bed and reading until the boys deigned to wake at 8am. Humph.

Ted is still not walking which is very normal for a child his age, but wierd as Alfie was trotting around by ten months. I think he is happy pootling about on his hands and knees and letting everyone else do the running around.

Had a manicure today for the first time in my life. My nails look short, but nice.

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 19:43:00 +0000

I went to see the Sex and the City film yesterday evening with my friend. We are both big fans and have been since the beginning, so we went with great anticipation.

And I did enjoy it, it was good, but...

it was too long, even though there were many strands of the story that were barely investigated - Miranda and Steve for example, and Charlotte's sudden fertility. I know it has to be Carrie-centric, but...no. I would much preferred to have had a new series or three hour long specials or something. I love it so much, but I feel slightly let down. We also went to a nightclub that we used to frequent back in the day, and that was good too, but didn't quite hit the spot either. Had a good night with a dear friend though.

More!

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Fri, 30 May 2008 08:16:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Fri, 30 May 2008 08:06:00 +0000

Boy with a Lizard!

Big smiley boy!

I am not Mary Whitehouse, but....

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Mon, 26 May 2008 09:26:00 +0000

It is 10.30am on a Bank Holiday Monday, and my six year old and I are in our pyjamas browsing the TV. We've watched "I'd do Anything" from last night (taped because it was Ted's Birthday party yesterday - more on that later). We have flicked through for some music - I had to turn off E4 because there was a song with an accompanying video portraying a busty lady in her sexy underwear walking through a desert (I think it's called "Flashlight" but then I'm not with the kids anymore), flicked to another channel and immediately switched over as it was "The Thong song" and then on the third was faux lesbian kissing with Tatu's "All the Things She Said" (who interestingly DH and I were only talking about on Saturday as he remembered they once represented Russia in the Eurovision. But I digress)

My question is - how can this be the choice on a Monday at 10.30? Why should my six year old be exposed to that??? I realise I only have the three free music channels but I have no reason to believe that it is any different on the paying ones. Am I a prude????

If you were going to the SATC Premiere

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Wed, 14 May 2008 18:09:00 +0000

...would you dress like this woman behind Cynthia Nixon?

I don't even claim to be any kind of style icon, but I mean, really???? It just goes to show that all black is rarely a good look.

If this goes right it means that I have finally worked out how to do something fancy with my blog, and you'll never hear the end of it. And if it does work then it was piss easy and I don't know why I haven't done it before

Here comes the Sun!

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Sun, 11 May 2008 17:43:00 +0000

There's something about sunshine and summer that makes the world seem a better place. In my younger years I used to say I preferred winter - could cover up in more clothes, I liked cold, crisp days, my birthday, and Christmas. Of course, I still like cold, crisp days, my birthday and Christmas, and there is a certain cosiness in winter clothes, but the reality is that Christmas is one day, my birthday's somewhat lost it's edge as I get older, cold and crisp days are few and far between - more like damp and grey days - and clothes are all well and good but you need to strip off once you get indoors. You know where you are on a bright sunny day, you can get a t-shirt out, linen trousers, silver birkenstocks (I love them...), hold back bad hair with sunglasses, and spray on a quick tan. The air is fresh, people have barbeques (we had one yesterday) and you feel more like talking with your husband over a glass of wine. Next weekend we get our garden done and I cannot wait!

Ted now has seven teeth, and a few words "ma-ma", "bye" "yeah" - he's finding the heat a bit much though

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 19:52:00 +0000

It's Monday. My hands smell of bleach. My eyes are scab-tastic thanks to some sort of weird allergic reaction to something I'm not sure. I have a mildly sciatic pain in my lower right back area. But I do have two rather marvellous sons fast asleep in bed, Brothers and Sisters on the V+ and a small (ish) glass of red wine on the go. Everything is tiring and I live for Thursdays.

Had such a lovely break

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:26:00 +0000

Had a lovely Easter holidays - today is the last day for me because I would be off tomorrow anyway because it's Friday. I made a conscious effort to fill our days with some different things to do, and it's worked really well. We've been to the park, the cinema (Ted went to nursery that day) and for lunch, been to see four lots of friends, been to a farm, today we are going to school for me this morning (Ted in nursery again) and then for a quick bite before going to see some friends, we've been to Blue Planet aquarium, an Easter Egg hunt, seen my Mum, Dad, sister, Mike's sister... it's been fab. We've had time at home too, and the housework is OK, we've done some activities, watched some TV and started a huge jigsaw. I managed fine when Mike was away Monday/Tuesday. Which bodes well as he's away all week.

I do feel a bit odd about Ted going into nursery. He's only gone in two full days in the last two weeks (and by full I mean 9.30-3.30) and also he's gone in this morning so I can go into work for a couple of hours. Alfie can entertain himself for that time, Ted, not so much... It's also so that he doesn't forget about nursery, because with Mike being away next week, I don't want the trauma of having to settle him back in, he doesn't like me dropping him off at the best of times. I do need to do stuff with Alfie as well, as he is such a great and patient big brother, but he does need his time with me, and the things he enjoys (cinema, Blue Planet) are better without a 10 month old in tow. In addition, I looked after a friend's two children on the Blue Planet day, so it was easier not to have him with me, although it would have been manageable. I suppose I'm lucky to have the option, my sister would say, but hey, we PAY for that privelidge, and plenty of money for it, and there's no reduction if you don't go in the holidays. I suppose using it as an occasional babysitter in the holidays is useful, but I still feel slightly odd about it. I'm sitting here in my PJs, Alfie is watching Scooby Doo and we have had our breakfast and the back of my mind is wondering if he is ok. It's guilt I suppose, in spades. I AM going to work in a little while though.

Parenting - a stick to beat women with.

I was in my local Co-Op today

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 18:33:00 +0000

waiting patiently whilst DS1 decided which of the many children's comics/magazines I was going to fork out for him, and was perusing the titles available for grown ups (rather than "adults" which is a whole different genre) and noticed that they had a bout eight copies of Harpers Bazaar. Now, it's a nice enough Co-Op and everything but I wonder if they really sell EIGHT copies of that particular magazine a month? Bearing in mind I am a magazine whore and I have never ever read it, it's quite posh really.

Anyway, a meme stolen from the lovely Beege

1. Do you like blue cheese?
I love blue cheese, especially Roquefort which i didn't realise counted as an unpasturised cheese until so late in my pregnancy as to make no difference

2. Have you ever smoked?
Yes, on occasion. I smoked regularly at University, although never enough to wake up in the morning and want one, but enough. I cut back a lot about eleven years ago, but have sporadically indulged since. Of course, during that time, the number of people I socialise with who smoke (because it tends to be when I am *ahem* socialising that I smoke) has reduced considerably. I am also in the fortunate position to be able to smoke and then not smoke for ages. The last time I had a cigarette was before I found out I was pregnant with Ted. then I had one the other week along with a lot of red wine, and was sick. I'm not expecting to have one again forever now, as the sickness was hideous.

3. Do you own a gun?
No, and I never want to, nor do I want to shoot one, in fact I'm not sure if I've ever even SEEN one

4. What flavour do you add to your drink at Sonic?
We don't have this in the UK

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Not usually. I did when I was younger because I thought that they would always give me a hard time about my weight, whereas now, well, if they do they can stick it, I know I am a big girl, and I don't need someone with a medical degree to tell me that. Having worked with GPs for years I have a slight contempt for them rather than an awe

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I would eat one in an emergency

7. Favourite Christmas movie?
It's a Wonderful Life

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Coffee. I love it, and need about three within an hour of waking.

9. Can you do push ups?
A few.

10. Do you know the secret to a happy life?
Sunshine should feature. Children also. Pinot Grigio, friends, music...

11. What’s your favourite piece of jewelry?
The only things I wear all the time are my wedding and engagement rings which are not actually the original ones in either case. I have lots of necklaces that I like a lot. My least favourite piece of jewellery is the earrings my husband bought me for Christmas, but that's a whole other story

12. Favourite hobby?
Reading, socialising

13. Song you’re listening to right now?
None - there's a bit of background music on Grand Designs on the TV and Radio 4 on in the kitchen upstairs

14. Do you have A.D.D.?
No.

15. What’s one trait you do not like about yourself?
Bitching about people in my head although not so much out loud

16. Middle name?
Elizabeth. I like it and it goes well with my first name

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
1. What shall I make for my dinner?
2. If I have a glass of wine tonght by myself am I am alchie?.
3. Alfie needs to go to bed soon.

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday?
Nothing at all

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
Coffee, water, wine

20. Current worry?
That it's a mistake to send Ted to nursery, even though he is perfectly happy there

21. Current hate right now?
Some stuff at work

22. Favourite place to be?
Where my children are. In the sunshine. Bed with a good book

23. How did you bring in the New Year?
Grumpily because Mike insisted on going to bed before midnight on purpose because he hates New Year. I hate the whole "party like it's 1999" thing too, but going to bed mardily at 11.50pm pissed me off.

24. Where would you like to go?
France on holiday in our own little house with aircon and a pool.

25. Name four people who will complete this:
Nobody reads this blog!

26. Do you own slippers?
Yes, and I wear them sometimes, but I find them too flat for me and I feel slobby. I'm so with Flylady on this one

27. Last magazine you read:
Saturday Times magazine. I am about to read this month's Red and Marie Claire when I achieve 17.2) and 3) above

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
I never have but I don't imagine it to be a nice experience

29. Can you whistle?
Yes.

30. Favourite colour?
To wear: Black, brown, white, green. In sweets I always like the green ones

31. Would you be a pirate?
No, I get seasick

32. What songs do you sing in the shower in the morning?
I don't sing in the shower as a rule although I sing everywhere else. Lately I've been singing snippets from High School Musical 2 because we are watching it a LOT.

33. Favourite girl’s name?
You see, we never really got there with girls names, we had Helena for Alfie and six for Ted: Amelie, Anya, Annie, Maya, Tess and Francesca. I suspect he would have been Francesca
34. Favourite boy’s name?
A tie: Ted and Alfie
35. What’s in your pocket right now?
They are empty but there have been: an earring, a mobile phone, a pair of Ted's socks, my front door key and a tube of Daktacort at various times today

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
Ted and Alfie

37. Best bed sheets as a child?
*sobs* we didn't have fancy ones, but I did like my green and white gingham check

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
Broken arm, broken leg

39. Do you love where you live?
I love my house, I would like it if there were some jobs done on it that need doing - new kitchen, bathroom, hall stairs and landing decorated, garden remodelled etc.I like the area too, near to amenities, leafy suburb

40. Cat lover or dog lover?
Neither really although I do own two cats

41. Who is your loudest friend?
I am probably everyone's loudest friend, but mine is probably Bob

42. How many fish do you have?
None

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
Don't think so

44. What is your favourite television show?
Hmmm. Well, the Sopranos has finished. I love Brothers and Sisters, ER, Desperate Housewives, and I am enjoying Dirty Sexy Money and Mad Men. I like Gavin and Stacey, The Apprentice, Ashes to Ashes

45. What is your favourite book(s)?
I love loads of books. Anything by Adriana Trigiani, Marian Keyes. I loved A thousand Splendid Suns. Time Travellers Wife. Anything by Laurie Graham and Lorna Landvik

46. What is your favourite candy?
I love white chocolate.

47. Favourite Sports TEAM?
Liverpool Football Club

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
I quite fancy the guitar bit in Evita, and everyone crying and wearing mantillas. I hope that if I ever have to choose that stuff I will choose something that epitomises me whilst making everyone smile. Something like "In These Shoes?" by Kirsty McColl.

50. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up?
What time is it? God I need a wee!

I am naughty

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 13:39:00 +0000

My SIL and BIL are here with my nephew. They are lovely, but quite quiet and reserved. So I have sent everyone to the park whilst I Cook Sunday Lunch*

*watch an episode of ER on V+ whilst surfing the internet, as I prepared most of the vegetables this morning. I have made a cheese sauce for the cauliflower, and parboiled the spuds though

Tagged

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 15:11:00 +0000

I've been tagged by Rio, the beautiful Clover. Here's the rules:

The rules: Link to your tagger and post these 3 rules on your blog.
1. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
2. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
3. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Facts:

1. I am growing my hair. Two reasons: one, my hairdresser has moved to Spain, and I am noturiously bad at trusting anyone with my tresses. Not that they are fabulous or anything, but they're all I got. Two: My sis is getting married in October, and I fancy having an "up-do" for the occasion.

2. I had a mojito last night for the first time. Then I had one for the second time. Me likey....

3. I have given up buying crappy Celeb magazines for 2008. Thids does not mean that if I come across one in the dentist or at my Mum's house I can't read it, but that I can't actually pay good money for one. So far, I have not found this a wrench at all.

4. I developed a skin tag on the side of my right boob when I was pregnant with Ted and I have had enough of it, but I am not sure if I can be arsed to have anything done about it

5. I play the guitar. And the clarinet, but the latter not for a number of years

6. I very rarely watch films. I have to really want to watch it, I would never go to the cinema on a whim. This does not include the children's films I am sporadically obliged to watch, such as Horton Hears a Who on Thursday. Therefore, I am never able to contribute to discussions on such gems as Pretty Woman/Spinal Tap/Lord of the Rings/Forrest Gump etc etc, as I have never seen them, or indeed many other alleged "Classics". However, when I do love a film, I love it passionately (Some Like It Hot, It's a Wonderful Life, Crash, etc) I have films still in cellophane wrappers that people have bought me on DVD and I have never watched (Girl with a Pearl Earring/The English Patient)I just don't want to waste two hours of my life on them (although I can happily channel surf/internet surf for two hours)

7. I have a passion for unsuitable men. Current favourite: Tony Soprano. I fear it is a deep rooted need to rebel against the good girl that I really am.

7.

Sixteen Years Ago Today

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 14:03:00 +0000

I started "going out" with Mike. Well, by that, I mean we got together at a college party, spent the night together (no, we did not have sex!) and parted on excellent terms. It was the 4th March when we finally began to officially be "boyfriend/girlfriend". But, we like to think of the 29th February as our actual anniversary, partly becuse it's a more interesting date to have as an anniversary. When we got married, we married on the closest Saturday to the 29th February, four years later. We wanted to get married on the 29th, but it was a Thursday. So, Sunday is our twelth wedding anniversary. Two years ago, we had a party for our tenth anniversary at a bar in town. Last year I was pregnant, and we agreed not to have presents. It was miserable, and I never want to have that again.

So, this year, we are going out to dinner, and I have bought Mike a nice present (it's a bag, a Kickers one, so he can put his lunch, iPod, papers and everything he needs for work or if he goes for an overnight) and a card. It's also Mothers Day on Sunday, so I hope that he has made an effort.

I had such a nice week off with my boys last week. I really still don't know what I'm going to do about working - I like it and Ted's happy enough, but it's not all that's important.

I'm thinking of starting another blog, a project one, like "what I wore everyday" or ate every day or similar. Not sure which

Feeling a bit better

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 09:47:00 +0000

Thanks Beckie...

The sun is shining and I've had a talk with my husband, because I started writing something in my Valentine to him and once I started I couldn't stop... anyway it was cathartic, it's half term, we've got quite a bit planned and I'm just generally feeling better. There are people I am fed up with but heigh ho.

It's Sunday morning, we're all in our PJs watching Primeval, there are friends coming for dinner later, and I feel more in control of things. Good.

To celebrate: a meme ;)

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Ten years ago, I was 26, about to celebrate my 2nd wedding anniversary. We had gone to London for my first one, but I can't remember what we did for the second. Probably went out for a meal. We were living in Knutsford, and getting ready to move into this house in the April. We had my friend living with us. I was working at the Doctors' practice and we were building new premises, which was really stressful. I was also wondering what was going to happen to my job under the new political regime.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Being pregnant, counting the days until maternity leave started at Easter, feeling fed up and poorly. I had had a horrible January, been ill with the flu and Mike had worked away for the whole month as he had just started at Microsoft. I had just interviewed for my management job and been appointed to it. I was panicking that I wasn't in any way shape or form ready for having another baby.

Five snacks you enjoy:

Crisps - either salt and vinegar or ready salted
crackers and cheese
flapjacks
toast with butter
eat natural apricot and almond bars

Five songs that you know all the lyrics to:
- I know loads!
Wonderwall - Oasis
Yes- McAlmont and Butler
Groovejet - Spiller
Diamonds and Rust - Joan Baez
Your love alone is not enough - Manic Street Preachers

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

Pay off mortgage
Pay off Mum's mortgage so she can stay in her house
Take the children to Eurodisney
Invest enough to give up work
Get a personal trsiner to MAKE me exercise
Have the house remodelled

Five bad habits:

Eating when not hungry
biting nails
Putting pens in my hair
Losing things and not looking in the obvious places for them
Mindlessly watching TV

Five things you like doing:

Spending time with my boys
Reading
Hanging out with good friends
Shopping
Listening to music

Five things you would never wear again:

Leggings
Jogging bottoms or sportswear in general
a Bouffant hairdo
a non-underwired bra
thongs

Five favorite toys:

Computer
Interactive Whiteboard at work
iPod
Alfie
Ted ;)

noreply@blogger.com (zoe xx) — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 09:56:00 +0000

I think I might be hitting a wall. There's nothing huge, but I'm at a bit of a place where I feel excessively tired, somewhat PMT-y, a bit cross with my friends and family because I feel a bit unsupported... and none of it is really very justified. I've been here before, about 8 months after Alfie was born. Bingo.

There's something about going back to work and all that that entails. In actual fact, it's been okay - I like being myself for a while, Ted is happy at nursery (when he's not picking up a bug) I'm popular at work and good at my job - it's the whole just not feeling like I'm doing anything properly - being a mum, a teacher, a friend... and I am a dreadful wife. It's like that Kirsty MaColl song: "I've been an awful woman all my life/A dreadful daughter and a hopeless wife" - I KNOW that I'm not an awful woman - I just FEEL like one.